THE
DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
June 2003, VOL. III, # 13
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Have you told your friends about it? Have you sent letters to the editor or op-ed pieces supporting it? Have you organized a committee to promote it? Have you e-mailed your elected representatives, including George W. Bush, in favor of it? Did you march in the Israel Day parade with a poster announcing it? If not, get up off your collected asses and promote the idea of an Enduring Two-State Solution in the Land of Israel as described in The Diogenes Report, Vol. III, #12. I’ve tried to get op-ed placement on two dailies with no success, as yet—but I’ll keep trying.
What is a roadmap? It’s a geographic chart presenting a route, based on experience, of how to get from one point to another. It is not a document based on the imagination of individuals who have never traversed the route or even know anyone who has traversed the route and, furthermore, don’t really know if the destination exists. That is the “road map” of the insane being proposed by President Bush and his politically and geographically deranged State Department.
I believe that a more realistic description of the Bush/State Department document is a“treasure map.” We are all familiar with treasure maps. They pop up all over the place claiming to lead to hidden treasure. Treasure maps have driven people to search for the hidden treasures of Captain Kidd, Blackbeard, the Holy Grail, Montezuma and the temple in Jerusalem. Hundreds, if not thousands, of treasure hunters have searched without results.
Now the American Government wants Israel to march headlong through quicksand and other dangerous territory inhabited by savages, who sacrifice their own children. to find the so-called treasure of peace. This so-called road map is really a treasure map which never leads to a treasure. What starts out as a yellow brick road on a treasure map quickly turns red with blood as soon as Muslims are part of the treasure hunt.
The two top editors of The New York Times fell on their pens to protect the reputation, slim as it is, of the publisher of the paper. While they served as the enforcers of the boss’s political correctness philosophy, they were not the true culprits of the Jayson Blair fiasco. As the old folk saying so aptly phrases it: ‘The fish stinks from the head’--and the stink at the Times wafts right out of the publisher’s office.
When Punch assumed the hereditary title of publisher, his first pronouncement was that more minority group members were needed in the newsroom. No similar comments were forthcoming about better writers and reporters. So when the big boss wants something done, most of his underlings are going to make sure that it’s done. ‘I vas only following orders’ is a familiar refrain in every organization. Most of the Times people feel that they have reached the epitome in journalism and they weren’t going to jeopardize their jobs by making an issue about an obvious problem with the big bosses favorite crusade.
Now that they’re examining their news operations under a microscope, an additional fair-haired boy has been forced to resign. We don’t know how many similar situations have been buried at the Times—not only involving minority people but editors’ or publisher’s favorites. I recall a news story from Israel where the reporter obviously did not visit a town like he claimed he did. The reporter in question was not fired but the Times did run a correction explaining that the event covered by the report took place in a Jewish town and not an Arab town. The reporter would have been aware of this fact if he had been where he claimed he was.
What does the Times’ management expect when it encourages less than straightforward reporting from places like the Middle East where it continues the family tradition of antagonism to Zionism and Israel. This tradition was begun by Adolph Ochs and pervades the editorial and news columns to this very day. It is highly likely that this journalism mode of less-than-honest reporting involves other news categories at the Times, as well. Consequently, don’t expect many, if any, changes—despite all of the chest-beating and repenting.
In their usual disgraceful post-war approach, the U. S. military and the State Department were planning to install the most evil citizens of the axis of evil in positions of power in Iraq. Of course, the usual excuses were being given. Experienced technocrats and administrators are needed immediately to help rebuild Iraq even though they were members of the Baath Party. These are the same people we overthrew to bring “freedom” to the majority of the Iraqis.
The outcry against this policy, both in Iraq and the U. S. put an end to this move. What’s the big deal if the Iraqis have to suffer through a few more months—or even years of disorganization?
Suppose, we were not so anxious
to make the trains run on time in Germany—and, we knew where those trains were
headed—and let Germany suffer from lack of organization for some additional
years instead of putting the Nazis back in power. Would anyone have shed a
tear?
In the parlance of the theater and of sports a ‘turkey’ is a failure or a loser. Martin Indyk, the former ambassador to Israel has brought the negative meaning of the term turkey to politics, Of course Martin has always been a turkey. Indyk in Yiddish means turkey and based on his comments throughout his career, his name is a perfect match for his comments.
Now, in an article in Foreign Affairs, he has outdone himself. His solution for solving (meaning giving the Arabs their way) the Israeli-Arab problem is by placing ‘Palestine’ in a trusteeship while the Jewish ‘settlements’ are dismantled. As a true State Department Jewish Arabist, he doesn’t even consider the dismantling of the Arab settlements in Judea and Samaria. The turkey doesn’t even have enough imagination to suggest that it might be a good idea to return Israel to a British mandatory arrangement so that perfidious Albion can lop off another ¾ of the Jewish State and present it to Arafat.
Once a turkey, always a turkey.
On his visit to Israel, Secretary of State Colon Bowel advises the Israelis to ignore the Arab terrorist attacks, which are really not happening anymore, or hardly happening and , in any case, the Israelis should stop defending themselves. In Saudi Arabia, Bowel vows to help hunt down the vicious terrorists making it clear that terrorism will not be tolerated. Terrorism is OK against Israel, but not against Saudi Arabia.
In Syria, he claims to have convinced the government to shut down terrorist facilities. The Syrian Government denies his claims. Essentially, the Syrians claim that the Secretary is a liar. Based on his track record—and the support that the Syrians provide to terrorist organizations—I believe the Syrians. The black man do indeed speak with forked tongue.
Now, let’s move away from speech and over to action. Colon’s recommendations leading up to the Iraq War were disasters. His recommendation in the first Gulf War that we should not topple Saddam were instrumental in leading to the second Gulf War which likely cost the U. S. more casualties and dollars. The fact that his actions that we know about were so flawed, it makes me wonder how many American casualties in Viet Nam were his responsibility—before he became a general officer.. Anyone have any ideas or information?
WHAT WAKE-UP CALL? THEY DIDN’T EVEN HEAR THE ALARM CLOCK!
Whoever thinks that 9-11 was a wake-up call to the Bush Administration, is mistaken. Our government is sleep-walking through the war on terrorism—not fully understanding the scope of Islamic fundamentalism which is the outlook of vast numbers of Muslims.
I was again reminded of this while listening to an interview with Asa Hutchinson, the Deputy Director of the Department of Homeland Security, on why the alert level was raised. He explained that the terrorist bombings in Saudi Arabia and Morocco were responsible. He did not mention Israel which underwent a greater number of terrorist attacks at the same time. I guess it’s not considered terrorist when the attacks take place in Israel.
We’ll know that our government hears the wake-up call when they lump all Muslim terrorist together and make them all objects of extermination. A good first step will be to shred the “Road Map” and toss the scrap paper into the recycling bin.
Colon Bowel demonstrated his incompetence in a least two wars. During the Gulf War he advised against overthrowing Saddam Hussein which required Freedom for Iraq, a second Gulf War to remove him from power. Even this time, he forced the U. S. into an international fiasco by pushing us into a UN confrontation.
Now, led by his son, Michael Bowel, The Federal Communications Commission is allowing the most powerful communications organizations to concentrate more power in their hands. I’ll bet that he gets a top job with one of those organizations when he leaves government.
Names that fit
and names that don’t.
Here is one that
really fits. Chris Moneymaker, an accountant, won $2.5 million in the 34th
annual World Series of Poker’s No Limit Texas Hold’em event (2003).
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes.
The Russian translation of the Quartette’s Road Map must be flawed.
Now we know where Saddam is hiding
So, Italy was once civilized.
Convicted phone company executives should be allowed to have phones in their cells.
When it came to Muslim terror emanating from Afghanistan and Iraq, he didn’t ‘call’ for an end—he used military force to end it. When it comes to Muslin terror perpetrated by the ‘Palestinian’ Arabs, he takes a much softer approach.
Drugstore Thefts Lead To School Lockdowns
It was easy to track down the thieves. They stole eight boxes of vegetable laxatives. All the police had to do was follow the odor.
How about crime?
Be careful Arik, you know what happens when you bend in front of an Arab.
That’s just what we need, more horse’s asses.
Even if the police can’t recognize her because of her veil, don’t stop her if she is on her way to bomb the ACLU office.
Why not for 40 years? Give them a taste of their own medicine.
The plastic surgeons are reworking the mountains of New Hampshire
The Stamford, CT police chief wished him well on his future endeavors. Does he mean that he should avoid getting caught?
Cypriots Unsurprised As 4th Peace Deal Fails
They should try the 5th edition of Bush’s Road Map
Cash For The Kurds Is Assailed As Inadequate
Wait until they see how little we’ll pay for the whey.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
- Arthur Bloch
I work best after the deadline has passed, when I’m in a panic.
- Tony Kushner
Political satire died when they gave Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace prize.
- Tom Lehrer
If George W. Bush doesn’t do something to improve the American economy, he’ll discover that the unemployed can be a mass weapon of destruction.
- Emanuel L. Strunin
Iraq needs only four people to achieve post-Saddam success. Unfortunately, they are George Washington, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton and John Marshall.
- George Will
My successes and achievements have come because I chose never to be silent, never to stop. Silence is the last thing the world will ever hear from me.
- Marlee Matlin
Many books do not use up words...many words do not use up thought.
- Ancient Chinese proverb
Labeled a ‘sick comic’ Lenny
Bruce replied: I‘m not sick. The world is sick, and I’m the doctor.
- Lenny Bruce
When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy.
- James Goldsmith
I’m a born pessimist. The minute I stop looking on the black side of things,
I’m out of a job.
- Dick Gregory
How are your investments doing? I’ve just switched brokers. From stock to pawn.
- Shoe (comic strip)
Texas public services: Mississippi with roads.
- Anonymous
We’re thinking in our heads.
- Neil Cavuto
I joined a new health club that specializes in reducing the rear.
Really? What’s it called?
No end in sight.
- Shoe (comic strip)
READERS’ COMMENTS
Great idea, What took you so long to write it up?
1. The Jews get two votes in the U.N. when a billion Chinese deserve only one?
2. I always knew Jews were schizo.
3. Is-ying and Is-yang?
4. Now Israel would never go up in smoke. Just smoke and mirrors?
5. Who gets Jerusalem?
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There is an old saying that paper
does not refuse ink. After four attempts for you to send me this latest
epistle, where all I could download in the WORD file was a blank page with 4
paragraph notations and no text, the final submission successfully downloaded
today. This indicates to me that God must be trying to send you a
message!
The implementation of your "Two State Solution" is in effect,
the Kach-Meir Kahane recipe for "Population Transfer". If
this were forcibly initiated by Israel, this would truly initiate Armageddon,
with all the Jew haters of the world combining against Israel, and with the US
powerless to stop it, even with the tacit support of the Christian Evangelists.
A more realistic Two State solution is the establishment of a de-militarized
Palestinian state with a flag and a "capital" in some suburban area
of eastern Jerusalem, where the Palestinian zealots can generate rallies and
shoot guns in the air. The mainstream sensible Palestinian majority will
then slowly accept the existing Jewish "settlements" and rename them
as "neighborhoods" similar to other Jewish neighborhoods in the
Diaspora such as Borough Park and Williamsburg, etc. Moreover, with the
influx of huge amounts of Jewish money from abroad, these neighborhoods will
legally expand through the purchase of Palestinian-owned land, at exorbitant
prices, which will allow the Palestinian sellers to live like kings in
Gaza, or Jordan, or Mecca, or Beverly Hills. The Palestinians who choose
to remain, will reap the benefits of unrestricted work in Israel, an expanding
economy achieved by trade with Israel and other backward Arab countries, and
whose predominant middle class will, in your period of 50 years, slowly become
"westernized" and become a mirror image of the secular Israel.
Comments welcome: elscomm@earthlink.net
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