THE DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
September 2003, VOL. III, # 22

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JUSTICE BY TRIAL, NOT BY EXILE,

A friend has come up with a novel solution for the Arafat problem. He says that Israel should forget about the exile or shooting or poisoning suggestions for dealing with Arafat. My friend recommends the Eichmann approach. Put Arafat on public trial for genocide against the Jews, who have been murdered and maimed, not only of Israel but of other lands. There is ample evidence, in his own words, as well as those of his followers and victims that his policies and actions have had genocidal results.

Of course, “the world” will not like such a trial, but the nations will be riveted by Arafat’s word’s of peace in English compared with his words of murder in Arabic.

Let the court and “the world” hear the words of his victims. For a few moments, at least, “the world” will be forced to look at this detestable individual whom they support. This trial will make no lasting impression. But for a few moments…. 

Then an Israeli court will mete out justice. And, perhaps, send him to join Eichmann.

 

WAKE UP!!!…WAKE UP!!!

Today is September 11, 2003—two years after “9/11” and our governments on the national and local levels are still sleepwalking through the terrorism crisis facing the United States and all of the “western world.” The dreamy belief that we can eliminate terrorism by hi-tech, though standard, military techniques while being politically correct and stepping on as few toes as possible is paralyzing our prospects for success in the war against Muslim terrorism.

A 20-year-slumber

Actually, the noise of 9/11 merely made our government turn over in its bed, because it has been slumbering fitfully—to the sound of wake up calls—for 20 years. Yes, 20 years—since 1983 when the American embassy in Beirut was destroyed and 240 marines were murdered in the same city. Our government hardly stirred. In its stupor, it didn’t want to sit up and make decisions that might impact its Arab friends or the oil companies and defense contractors who sit at the seats of power in Washington.

The wake-up calls continued to no effect. American diplomats tortured and murdered, Air Force barracks bombed in Saudi Arabia, American embassies in Africa bombed with 100s dead and thousands maimed, a U.S. warship bombed in Yemen, American tourists murdered in Israel, American missionaries murdered in Yemen, kidnappings in the Philippines and the Oklahoma City bombing with its strong evidence of an Iraqi connection, which appears to have been swept under the rug by the FBI.

The real “new world order”

There never was any doubt where these terror wake-up calls were coming from. The problem was that we knew that many of our “friends” were involved both directly and indirectly. After 9/11 our government couldn’t hide its head under the pillow any longer. At the same time, our government was not willing to face the basic problem that was fueling this “new world order.”

This “new world order” is the rise of aggressive Islam flexing its muscles in the face of a soft and retreating West. The West that had kept aggressive Islam in check for centuries was now interested in pursuing the good life and unwilling to accept international responsibilities. The United States was the only major nation capable of standing up for the West but its dependence on the Arabs for oil had weakened its resolve. Rather than tackle the problem head on, America has danced nimbly around the issues.

While not willing to tackle the basic problem of the “new world order,” the United States, to its credit, has conducted some spectacular military operations in Afghanistan and Iraq. But military success in these two countries is only part of the solution—and not the major part. The major part is much more tricky and involves a sea change in American political, social economic and religious attitudes.

Our ‘friends’ are the problem

It requires the overturning of long-term alliances and “friendships” and some drastic changes in the vision Americans have of our country’s role on the world scene. For example, we do not want to act like imperialists. We believe in going into a problem nation, doing good and getting out. This hasn’t always been possible—often because our government—mainly the State Department-- doesn’t understand the dynamics of the nations where we get involved. Perhaps it’s time to review and change our non-imperialist viewpoint and mode of operation.

For example, Viet Nam, where we had no business but government egos didn’t let us extricate ourselves until we suffered 100,000 killed and wounded. 

More recent misadventures are in Bosnia and Kosovo where our troops will be stuck for generations unless we declare that we have successfully completed our job and pull out—leaving the natives to get back to killing each other.. In both of these places, I believe we were sucked in because we wanted to protect Muslims. In Bosnia, the U.S. went in to protect “moderate” Muslims. I don’t know when they became moderate, but I do remember that in World War II, there were two Bosnian Muslim SS divisions serving the Nazis. A few years later, Bosnian Muslims were fighting on the side of the Arab armies that were trying to wipe out the new State of Israel. Our support for the Albanians in Kosovo makes even less sense. The Kosovo Liberation Army was nothing less than a gang of Islamic fundamentalist terrorists who fought in Chechnya and Afghanistan.

I believe that one of the main motivations for our intervention in the Balkans was to show the Saudis and other Arabs that we supported Muslims.

Getting in is easy

It is our economic embrace--oil going to us and military equipment going to them—with Saudi Arabia and the other Arab oil producers, but particularly. Saudi Arabia that stops America from conducting an effective war against Islamic terrorism. It doesn’t make any difference which administration is in Washington--Republican or Democrat-- because the State Department is always there to steer our administrations on the same insane course.

There!, I’ve called a spade, a spade which is something most of our leaders refuse to do. Clinton refused to recognize that there was a problem. Bush keeps repeating that the problem is not Islam but terrorism. Based on the counseling of his State Department handlers, Bush doesn’t understand that Muslims in very, very great numbers believe that Islam can now accomplish what it almost did but could not complete during the past 1,400 years—conquer the world.

Flexing the Muslim muscle

This may sound far-fetched, but this is the “new world order.” In western Europe, the Muslims are building a more extensive presence than they had when they were driven out of France in the 8th Century and out of Spain in the 15th Century. They control all of North Africa and are a major and growing force in Black Africa. While the Ottomans were driven out of the Balkans, American and European troops, as noted, are protecting Muslim enclaves in Bosnia and Kosovo. The Chechens are conducting an endless war against Russia, and a whole bloc of Muslim states have emerged since the collapse of the Soviet Union. They are not yet in the aggressive Islam camp, but just give them a little time. 

In other parts of the world, the Muslims are getting ever more aggressive-- in the Philippines, in Indonesia, in Kashmir, in Israel, in China, in Cambodia and in India. Meanwhile, the U.S. is making believe that Pakistan and Saudi Arabia are our allies against terrorism, which is basically aggressive Islam, when in reality they are fueling the flames, worldwide.

What can the U.S. do?

First, we should pull our troops out of Iraq except for those required to guard the oilfields, pipelines and other oil facilities. Let’s forget the insane notion of rebuilding that non-nation nation. Bush should have learned in Yale, if not in grammar school that you can’t put humpty dumpty together again. Saddam was ruling a scrambled egg consisting of three nations. Let the Iraq dissolve into its three separate nations. If they can live in peace with each other—fine. If they want to cut each other’s throats—more power to them. We keep their oil to pay off our costs for two wars and for rebuilding the oil infrastructure. If Iraq’s Arab brothers want to undertake a rebuilding program and pay for it—more power to them.

Next, we take over the Saudi oil fields, pipelines and oil ports. This should cut off most of the funding for the terrorist organizations. Equally important, this will cut off the funding for the madrassas around the world where many of the future terrorists and west-hating aggressive young Muslims are being educated for creating world problems. The funds to maintain Saudi society can come from the billions of petrodollars the huge royal family has secreted and invested in Europe and the Americas. Non-Muslim Asians will be happy to run the oil fields for the U.S.

The show of force and determination to hit aggressive Islam at its heart also will dry up the funding for Islamic terrorism coming from the other Arab oil countries and other Muslim funding sources. We should welcome all European nations that are interested in maintaining their oil supplies to help us, with troops, to control the oil facilities in Iraq and Saudi Arabia. I believe they will be forthcoming.

As far as Afghanistan is concerned, the U.S. has to decide whether we want our troops there forever. If not, pull them out now and warn their leaders that their whole country will be a target of opportunity for American bombers and drones and warn Pakistan that it will be viewed the same way.

Rather than viewing these actions as imperialism, just chalk them up as a sensible way of dealing with the “new world order.” It is much more sensible than dealing with the aftermaths of World Trade Centers, Pentagons and embassy bombings.

It’s not just there, it’s here

At home, too, we have to take steps to prevent aggressive Islam from disrupting American society and the American economy. Our president cannot with one voice raise the terror alert and out of the other side of his mouth claim that we are not at war with Islam. Every announcement of a suspected terror cell means that there is an infrastructure of dozens or hundreds of Muslims supporting the cell.

A great deal of anti-American hate is coming out of the mosques, where aggressive imams are inciting their congregants. Those that are not American citizens should be returned to their native lands. Those clergy encouraging anti-American behavior, who are citizens, as well other Muslims who have contributed to terror organizations must be kept under close surveillance.

These recommendations are just a start to dealing with the ”new world order.” If we don’t take the need for a sea change in our outlook seriously, our wake-up call will be a nightmare.

 

VIVE LA….

An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up. 

"Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked. 

"I'm sorry," the American replied, but I really gotta take a leak." 

"You can't do that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me."

The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the policeman, "Whiz away."

The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started pissing on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning toward the officer, he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this British courtesy?"

"No," retorted the policeman. "It's the French Embassy."

 

HEADLINES AND COMMENTS
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes.

Army Islamic Chaplain To Prisoners Detained
His bulging vest gave him away.

Dalai Lama Preaches Compassion In Central Park Speech
Immediately upon completing his talk, he was mugged—gently.

The Bond Between Israel And India Grows
At last, it’s OK to dance around the golden calf.

Israel May Try To Expel Arafat By End Of Year
That’s just over three months or seven bus bombings.

Helen Of Troy To Buy Unilever Deodorant Line
Was this the face that launched a thousand sniffs?

Ex-Inspectors: Bad Accounting My Explain Missing Arms
The execs at Enron and Worldcom are saying the same thing about the missing bucks.

Paul Hill, Killer Of Abortion Doctor is Executed
Can we say that the Rev. Hill was aborted?

Feds Launch Probe Into Soaring Gas Prices
I’ve got a marketing ploy for the oil companies to get the feds off their backs.
Change the price at the pump to $1.00… per half gallon. The food companies decrease the size of the package all the time.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome? (ad headline)
Is this what afflicts Colon Bowel when Israel extends the fence ?

Israel Airstrike In Gaza Wounds Hamas Spiritual Leader
Nothing to worry about. He is so spiritual that a physical injury won’t affect him.

Taxpayers Get Wrong Answers At IRS Centers
Don’t the taxpayers often give the IRS wrong answers?

Oil Spills In North Stamford
Captain Joseph Hazelwood must have really been in the bag this time.

War On Islamic Terror Faltering As It Enters Third Year
Too bad. Islam’s war on the West is still going full blast.

Poland Springs May Not be Out Of Hot Water
It’s rumored that their water does not come from a mountain spring in Maine but from a rusty spigot outside of Warsaw.

Women Called Mideast’s Untapped Resource
Have they told the Arab men about this?

Even Before He Arrives In Israel, French Envoy Starts On Wrong Foot
Actually, he is starting on the right foot, the wrong foot is in his mouth.

Head Of U.S. Bishops Reaffirms Celibacy
Well, at least one of them is toeing the line.

Asteroid Has Slim Chance Of Colliding With Earth 
What odds are they giving in Vegas?

New UN Parley Is Set To Gather Israel’s Enemies
It’s the International Conference of Civil Society in Support of the Palestinian People. It’s so civil that all Palestinians attending have to check their bomber vests in the cloak room.

France, Germany Blast Plan For UN Role In Iraq
They want control turned over immediately to the Iraqis.
If you want to know the kind of disaster you get from turning a government over to the natives, just look at France and Germany.

Syria Shutters Damascus Hamas Offices
Look, you guys don’t need an office. We’ll give you a nice warehouse to operate out of.

Finding New Work For Saddam’s Secret Police
How about assigning one to each professional and college football and basketball team?

NASA: We’ll Never Have Another Columbia Disaster
It’s easy for them to say, they’ll never name another space ship, Columbia.

For Afghans, Enemy Is U.S.-Backed Warlords
The Afghans shouldn’t feel like they’re being picked on, we’ll soon be doing the same thing in Iraq.

 

QUOTES I LIKE

If the Arabs put down their arms today, there would be no violence.
If the Jews put down their arms today, there would be no Israel.
- Anonymous (but wise)

Many a man fails as an original thinker because his memory is too good.
- Frederich Nietzche

You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. 
It's not bombing, it's air support.
- Air Force Colonel David Opfer, complaining to reporters
about their coverage of the Vietnam War.

The suggested Democratic battle cry for the 2004 presidential campaign:
It’s the “rebuilding” stupid.
- Emanuel L. Strunin

Is she new in town?
Yes, and she has a thing for older men.
Really?
It’s called pepper spray.
- Shoe (comic strip)

The Jews who are comfortable are, all of them, my enemies. Thus I have the right to be the greatest anti-Semite.
- Theodore Herzl

When did you first suspect you might have multiple personalities?
When they put me in group therapy by myself.
- B.C. (comic strip) 

My doctor wants me to keep a record of everything I eat.
I see you’re keeping it on your tie.
- Shoe (comic strip)

 

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