[archives/header.htm]

 

  [archives/menu.htm]

 

 

THE DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
October 2003, VOL. III, # 26

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WE’RE NOT AT WAR WITH ISLAM…BUT ISLAM IS AT WAR WITH US

Islam is at war with the West, in general, but particularly with the United States of America. In word and deed, Islam has been sending this message for many years, even before the widely accepted date of 1983 when 241 Marines were murdered in Beirut and the U.S. embassy was bombed. Although in-depth historical research probably can identify other dates, I believe that one valid starting time was World War II when Islamic countries and leaders supported Nazi Germany, that scourge of Western Civilization.

We don’t have to listen to a tape from Usama to know Islam is at war with us. We can hear the same message from Muslim political and religious leaders. On this page is one example of comments from the Islamic world about how Muslims feel about the West. But remember, the destructive acts of the Muslims against the West, and each other, speak more loudly of the cultural and religious war they have resumed against the West.

Turmoil Everywhere

In every country where there is a Muslim presence, the non-Islamic religion/culture is under attack and the Islamic religion/culture is, or is becoming, a fundamentalist breeding ground for terrorism. This is the situation in the United States, Europe, Africa and Asia. The situation is under control in Australia and Antarctica.

Among the few standing up against the spread of aggressive Islam are India, China, Russia (to a degree), the U.S. (to a degree), Muslim Turkey and Israel (to a degree). Europe is rolling over for Islam as it did for the Nazis.

This speech by Malaysian Prime Minister Datuk Seri Dr Mahathir Mohamad at the opening of the 10th Session of the Islamic Summit Conference on Oct 16, 2003 was enthusiastically applauded by the leaders of the Muslim world. Diogenes’ comments on the excerpts of the PM’s talk are in ( ).

The Jews Control The World

We are actually very strong. 1.3 billion people cannot be simply wiped out. The Europeans killed six million Jews out of 12 million. But today the Jews rule this world by proxy. They get others to fight and die for them. (The Jews rule the world, and since the Jews are the enemies of Islam, the rest of the world also is the enemy of Islam.) 

We may not be able to unite all the 1.3 billion Muslims in concert.. Remember that the Prophet did not have many followers when he went to Madinah. But he united the Ansars and the Muhajirins and eventually he became strong enough to defend Islam. (Muhammed made a peace treaty with the tribes he could not defeat. As soon as he felt strong enough he broke the treaty and attacked the tribes. Breaking a treaty is an approved procedure under Islamic law.)

It’s OK To Break A Peace Treaty

Apart from the partial unity that we need, we must take stock of our assets. I have already mentioned our numbers and our oil wealth. In today's world we wield a lot of political, economic and financial clout, enough to make up for our weakness in military terms. .The Quran tells us that when the enemy sues for peace we must react positively. True the treaty offered is not favourable to us. But we can negotiate. The Prophet did, at Hudaibiyah. (The treaty treacherously broken by Muhammed.) And in the end he triumphed.

The enemy will probably welcome these proposals and we will conclude that the promoters are working for the enemy. But think. We are up against a people who think. They survived 2000 years of pogroms not by hitting back, but by thinking. 

They invented and successfully promoted Socialism, Communism, human rights and democracy so that persecuting them would appear to be wrong, so they may enjoy equal rights with others. (Obviously, human rights and democracy along with Communism and Socialism are not to the liking of Islam.) With these they have now gained control of the most powerful countries and they, this tiny community, have become a world power. We cannot fight them through brawn alone. We must use our brains also. (Brains, in his thinking includes flying airplanes into the World Trade Center and suicide bombers in pizzerias and on busses.)

Most of the comments about the West from Islamic religious and political leaders are not as measured as those of the Prime Minister—they are battle cries.

 

GIVING CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE

Although Diogenes is sometimes accused of being ant-Muslim, allow me to point out that where they achieve, I’ll be unstinting in giving them credit. The following story from the October 22, 2003 issue of MEMRI (Middle East Media Research Institute) indicates how far ahead the Muslims are in the field of medical science. What takes American medical science 40 doses of radiation plus female hormone injections, the Muslims can accomplish with a handshake. I say hooray for Islamic science, but the Zionists always seem to trip them up.

Panic in Khartoum: Foreigners Shake Hands, Make Penises Disappear 

During September 2003, mass hysteria spread through Khartoum, the capital of Sudan, which was ultimately quelled by police intervention and statements made by the health minister. The panic was caused by rumors of foreigners roaming the city and shaking men's hands, making their penises disappear. The rumors were spread rapidly by text messages on cellular phones, and diverted the public's attention from a breakthrough in negotiations in Kenya between Sudanese Vice President Ali Othman and SPLA leader John Garang. 

Several versions of the story circulated and not all involved foreigners: Initially, it was claimed that the perpetrators belonged to a Sudanese tribe; according to another version, one West African man was responsible; later, the one man was replaced in the rumor with a group of West Africans. 

Al-Quds Al-Arabi correspondent Kamal Hassan Bakhit, who was the first to report on the affair outside Sudan, wrote that "the source of the horror is a foreign citizen from a West African country who is roaming through the city marketplace and draining men's virility via a handshake" and that "people are refusing to shake hands with anyone they don't know." Bakhit reported that police had received numerous complaints about someone called 'Satan's Friend,' and that they had launched an investigation and arrested a foreigner who had in his possession scarves, books on sorcery, and two million Sudanese pounds (about $1,500). 

The following are excerpts from articles which discussed the issue: 

Victims Tell Their Stories 

Two of the "victims" agreed to tell their story to the London-based Arabic daily Al-Quds Al-Arabi. One of them, fabric merchant S. K. A., said that a man from a West African tribe came into his shop to buy fabric, but an argument quickly developed between the two. Then the West African shook the store owner's hand powerfully until the owner felt his penis melt into his body. The store owner became hysterical, and was taken to the hospital. 
While the majority of accounts involved handshaking, another victim, who refused to give his name, said that while he was at the market, a man approached him, gave him a comb, and asked him to comb his hair. When he did so, within seconds, he said, he felt a strange sensation and discovered that he had lost his penis. It was also claimed that once "'Satan's Friend' drains a man's virility," he demands that his victim pay him over four million Sudanese pounds (about $3,000) to get it back.
Police Investigate, Government Steps In 

The Sudanese, unsure how to handle the affair, arrested 40 people who filed complaints along with some 50 other people on suspicion of sorcery and fraud. Many West Africans were brought into police stations for questioning, amid attempts by groups of people to assault them. The police were forced to devote a great deal of effort to dispersing rioters. 

The country's top politicians and health officials stepped in to try to calm things down. Attorney-General Salah Abu Zayed said that all complaints had been brought before a special investigative committee and that the first claimant would be tried for disturbing the peace since doctors had determined that he was perfectly healthy. However, another report said that those who filed complaints were suffering from "neurosis" and "suggestion." 

High-ranking policewoman Dr. Nour Al-Huda said: "We met with the suspects and discovered that they were in fact the victims. They were accused of something they knew nothing about... One of the accused had been informed by his wife that his daughter was suffering from sharp pains and that she was going to be operated on. He rushed to the hospital, but on the way stopped to ask a man where the operating room was – and was surprised to discover that this man was accusing him of being one of those who were causing impotence via handshakes. He found himself under suspicion at a time when he was hurrying to reach his daughter in the operating room… 

"In our opinion, what is at issue is not sorcery or magic. The many young men who complained were under the influence of suggestion. Since they were prepared [mentally] for this to happen, they honestly felt that they were ill." 

Prominent Sudanese psychiatrist Prof. Taha Ba'asher said that the phenomenon was similar to cases of women who imagined themselves to be pregnant

Dispelling the Rumors 

Chief Criminal Attorney-General Yasser Ahmad Muhammad told the Sudanese daily Al-Rai Al-A'am that "the rumor broke out when one merchant went to another merchant to buy some Karkady [a Sudanese beverage]. Suddenly, the seller felt his penis shriveling as a result of sorcery. It was the first complaint regarding the matter. Afterwards, the matter reached the media and this caused sensitivity among many." He added that all the persons who filed complaints were sent to the hospital. In all cases, the medical reports said that their penises were normal and that they suffered no atrophy or pain.

"Twenty percent came the next day to court and withdrew their complaints, claiming that they had recuperated. But some of them persisted with the charges." 

Sudanese Health Minister Ahmad Bilal Othman said that the hospital directors had reported to him, in an emergency session on September 23, that no cases of impotence with the aforementioned background had been admitted to the hospitals. He said that the phenomenon was "scientifically" groundless, and that it was sorcery, magic, or an emotional problem. 

The pundits paid a great deal of attention to the issue. Al-Rai Al-A'am published cartoons on the subject; one showed a man extending a prosthetic hand to shake hands with another man and saying, "Prevention is better than cure," and another one showing a man with both hands amputated telling a friend, "Thank God, I don't shake anyone's hand and no one shakes mine." 

In the Press

Dr. Abd Al-Latif Al-Buni wrote in the Sudanese newspaper Al-Sahafa that the lessons of the affair could be extrapolated to Sudanese politics: "The situation has reached the point where a wife accompanying her husband to the front door at home bids him farewell by saying, 'Be careful not to shake hands with men, but you can shake the girls' hands as much as you want.'… Out of fear of losing him, she has agreed to share [her husband with other women], even if this is a forced partnership. The same goes for the peace [negotiations] underway in Kenya. There must be concessions so that we do not lose Sudan altogether. If the wife conceded to her husband and allowed him to approach others of her gender, then the politicians can forgo political gain." 

Ja'far Abbas, a Sudanese columnist living abroad, expounded further on the matter in two articles, one in the Saudi daily Al-Watan and the other in Al-Rai Al-A'am. In his Al-Watan article, Abbas wrote: "Even though what I write today will harm 'tourism' in Sudan, I consider it my duty to warn anyone who wants to come to Sudan to refrain from shaking hands with a dark-skinned man. Since most Sudanese are dark-skinned, he had better avoid shaking hands with anyone he doesn't know…" 

Focusing on the report of the Sudanese man who lost his penis after contact with a comb, Abbas wrote: "No doubt, this comb was a laser-controlled surgical robot that penetrates the skull [and passes] to the lower body and emasculates a man!! 

"I wanted to tell that man who fell victim to the electronic comb: 'You jackass, how can you put a comb from a man you don't know to your head, while even relatives avoid using the same comb?!'" 

It Is a Zionist Plot

In conclusion Abbas wrote: "That man, who, as it is claimed, is from West Africa, is an imperialist Zionist agent that was sent to prevent our people from procreating and multiplying…" 

In his Al-Rai Al-A'am article, Abbas wrote: "I had planned to visit Sudan over the Id Al-Fitr holiday, and I saved as many dollars as I could for this purpose… But I heard and read about 'Satan's Friend' who shakes your hand and then you discover suddenly that you're 'not a man.' Is it conceivable that a reasonable man would choose to visit a city gripped by the horror of castration?!… 

"I pay [taxes] to the government, I bring money to my family [from abroad], and then I also need to pay a man who robs me of the thing I hold most dear and demands that I buy my stolen goods [back from] him?... 

"…Our women dominate in public services and university classes. [In my opinion], men in Sudan today have a right to found an Association for the Rights of Sudanese Men; all that remains of our masculinity are our most prominent biological features, and now someone wants to rob us of them!" 
Abbas wrote about the "comb incident" in this article as well: "What will probably lead me, nevertheless, to proceed with my daring plan to visit Sudan is that one of the men whose 'equipment' was confiscated said that the confiscation occurred when one of them gave him a comb and asked him to comb his hair… That is, we are not speaking of coercion. The victim could have refused to comb his hair. 

"If I ever meet this beast, I will ask him how he could put someone else's comb to his head!!! It is true that we are a crazy people, [and] 10 of us use the same towel, and every home has several combs. But, alas, [the combs] are all disappearing, and all that remains is one comb, dripping grease, used by all. But this usually happens within the family. That is, we do not usually use the combs of people we do not know, except at the barber! 

"Let none of you claim that you can guard against emasculation by avoiding shaking hands with anyone whose appearance indicates he is West African – since it has transpired that the ones who perform these wonders and miracles are West Africans! What does a West African look like? Black? Is there even a single white Sudanese?…" 

 

ACROSS MY RADAR SCREEN

Another Blow Against Terror

Neatly painted on the window of a Madison Avenue, New York perfumery, 
“Not the usual department store spray guerillas.”

When I Grow Up….

With nine Democratic candidates for the presidential nomination and with over 130 candidates who ran in the California governor’s recall election, I can hear kids saying, “when I grow up I want to be a candidate.” And they’ll probably have a better chance for this than for becoming a major league baseball, football or basketball player.

Thinning Out The Herd

There is another proposal to allow bow hunters to thin out the deer population on the grounds of the Greenwich, CT Audubon Society. According to the ‘experts’ deer overpopulation alters forest composition, eliminates or reduces wildflowers, shrubs and wildlife species, damages property, causes car accidents and spreads disease. It seems to me that these problems also are caused by another group prone to overpopulation—humans. So why not let the bow hunters thin out the people population in Greenwich? 

 

HEADLINES AND COMMENTS
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes .

2 More Candidates Killed In Colombia Elections
It’s what you call Latin American candidate recall.

Bush Aims To Get $35 M To Help Homelessness
By how much does he think he can increase homelessness with only $35 million?

CIA Leak Leaves Trail Of Damage That Has Just Begun To Be Assessed
What damage? Didn’t Richard Nixon say if the President does it, it can’t be illegal?

Taliban Suspects And Others Escape From An Afghan Prison
Isn’t that what our American Muslim clerics and translators are working on at Guantanamo?

In Their Ruined Capital, Chechens Rebuild Lives One Window At A Time
Shouldn’t that be one widow at a time?

Know When It’s Time To Go
Leaving A Job May Be Difficult, But Sometimes It’s Necessary
Especially when the boss says: “you’re fired.”

Rival Shiite Groups In Iraq Engage In Gun Battle
Whatever happened to scimitars

Diocese Settles Abuse Cases
This is the same diocese that tried to claim its priests were not employees, but independent contractors.

Bush Is Not The Environmental Monster He’s Made Out To Be
Correct. He is worse.

Arab-Americans Gain Higher Political Profile
They are up to the 80th floor of the World Trade Center.

Courageous Arab Thinkers
1. We’re not afraid to fly a plane into the Empire State Building.
2. Are those the ‘courageous’ Arabs Uncle Tom Friedman is thinking of?

5 Suicide Bomber Attacks In Baghdad On First Day Of Ramadan
To their credit, all of the bombers fasted.

How Foundation Spent Millions To Finance Hate
Ford’s Legacy Was Behind Conference At Durban

Keeping up the tradition of Henry Ford. Wasn’t he the guy who said: 
“you can have any philosophy you want as long as it’s Jew-hate?”

Sharon Says Israel Is Not Planning To Kill Arafat
Don’t bother with a plan.

 

NOT HEADLINES, BUT WORTHY OF COMMENT

In a move that will raise tension after Israel struck a suspected terrorist training camp near Damascus earlier this month, Farouk Sharaa, Syria’s foreign minister, warned that further “aggression” would prompt Syria to use “other cards.”
Israel had better be careful. It is well-known in intelligence circles that Syria is holding two decks of tarot cards in reserve.

 

QUOTES I LIKE
Diogenes considers them clever, not that he necessarily agrees with them. 

A beggar sees a millionaire passing by and asks for money. 
The millionaire responds, “inherit your own money!”
- Bertell Ollman

We used to walk the street and the voices we heard were the crazies talking to themselves. Now we hear the same voices but they are all on cell phones.
- Diogenes

Those who set out to serve both God and Mammon soon discover there is no God.
- Logan Pearsall Smith

Behavioral psychology is the science of pulling habits out of rats.
- Douglas Busch

The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
- George Orwell

The more you know the less you understand.
- Tao te Ching

A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed in keeping rabbits.
- Edith Sitwell

Cosmo: I’m a bit of a matchmaker myself.
Matchmaker: Is that so?
Cosmo: Yup…after dinner last night, I introduced Sara Lee to Ben and Jerry,
- SHOE (comic strip)

Interviewer: How many drafts of a story do you do?
Thirty-seven. I once tried doing thirty-three, but something was lacking—how shall I say?—je ne sais quoi. On another occasion, I tried forty-two versions, but the final effect was too lapidary—you know what I mean, Jack? What the hell are you trying to extort—my trade secrets?
- S. J. Perelman

We are more curious about the meaning of dreams than about things we see when awake.
- Diogenes (the original)

Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.
- Chinese proverb

Comments welcome. e-mail to: elscomm@earthlink.net
All issues of The Diogenes Report are on the website -- 
www.diogenesreport.com

 

Copyright © 2003 CE (and 352 BCE) ELS Communications. All rights reserved