THE DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
MAY 2004, VOL. IV, # 18
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WHERE WERE THEY THEN? 

Remember “What Ever Happened To_____?” the old parlor game of trying to guess where the Hollywood stars of yesteryear were now. With the U.N. set to condemn Israel once again for killing terrorists in Gaza, I’d like to offer a somewhat different version of that old game. 

Instead of asking where the U.N and some of its member nations are now, let’s ask where they were when certain events took place. For example, where was the U.N. when Arab terrorists blew up a hotel ballroom in Tel Aviv where Jews were celebrating a seder, or the pizza parlor in Jerusalem or the busses in Jerusalem? I don’t recall anyone calling a U.N. session to condemn the Arabs. But, then again, my memory is not that good. Does anyone else remember where the U.N. was? Perhaps Koffi was busy helping his son steal funds from the Iraq oil for food program.

Where was the French Government, which will certainly support a condemnation of Israel, when its troops were killing hundreds of thousands of Muslims in Algeria? The government may have been busy keeping their Nazi collaborators out of prison. You can’t blame them for not wanting to overcrowd their prisons.

Among the usual suspects behind every anti-Israel resolution are the good old boys in Saudi Arabia. Where were they when Nasser was using poison gas against their Islamic neighbor Yemen? The good old boys were probably busy boozing and whoring in Europe. They wouldn’t want to give the world poison gas pains. 

Do we have to examine the bloody hands of the rest of the U.N. gang of criminals who will sit in judgment on Israel? Their names alone tell the story: Russia, China, Iran, Pakistan, Libya, Sudan and the rest of the gang that may someday in the distant future rise to the moral level of Neanderthal man.

Since we all know where the U.N. gang was, let’s not be concerned about what they do today.



ANOTHER VIEW OF THE BATTLE WITHIN ISRAEL

In describing the defeat of Sharon in his initial attempt to uproot Jewish settlements in Yesha (Judea, Samaria and Gaza), I labeled it as “Zionists Win Round One.” I found this more nuanced viewpoint by one of the leaders of the Jewish Leadership group within Likud that opposed Sharon’s plan.

STALINGRAD
By Moshe Feiglin

The voice on the other end of the line had a heavy Russian accent. Two days earlier the majority of Likud members had voted against Sharon's disengagement plan, and I assumed that this was just another person wishing to congratulate and encourage us. 

"That was our Stalingrad", the person said. For a moment I didn't understand what he meant. "Stalingrad was the battle that decided the fate of the Second World War. This doesn't mean that after Stalingrad things were easy, there was still a long way to go. It took another two and half years of bloody battles until victory, but that was the turning point." "The referendum on Sunday was our Stalingrad."

There's something to be said for this comparison. The meaning of the referendum is not that from now on things will be easy, but that the direction has changed. We can expect hard battles and probably some failures, but we are no longer fighting a rearguard action. The disengagers are doing so.

Sharon simply has to destroy a Jewish home with a bulldozer. He has to show the entire world settlers being dragged protesting from their homes, he has to show the Left the walls collapsing, he has no alternative. Why? Because Sharon is a Zionist.

The fundamental ethos of Zionism was and remains the normalization of the Jewish nation. The rejection of Jewish uniqueness, of the Almighty of whom a Jew gives witness by his very existence, and of the national task that the Jew has taken upon himself over thousands of years of history, is a direct result of Zionism. The collecting together of the Jews in a modern state, and their integration in the family of nations based on Western values, is the means used to achieve the longed-for normalization. It is impossible not to respect the greatness of the Zionist revolution that wiped out the curse of the exile (that also adhered to Judaism). However, despite this respect and appreciation, it cannot be denied that from its beginning Zionism has contained the seeds of its own destruction, and this is what is now happening.

The aim of Zionism was not Eretz Israel but the solution of the Jewish problem, by establishing a state like all the others, and turning the Jewish people into a nation like all the others.

Eretz Israel was the means and not the end. When it seemed that the conquest of the country served the aim, we conquered and expelled, and settled the country. Not that it appears that fleeing the country serves the same aim of normalization, the classic Zionist desires to flee, to uproot, and to destroy. Of course, the issue is far more complex than such a superficial analysis. There are, of course, nationalist Zionists (the founders of the Likud) whose Jewish identity does not permit them to so easily go to the other extreme, but our experience with the leaders of the Likud indicates that nationalism by itself, with all it importance, is not enough.

At this point in time we therefore have a combination of an ideology that has exhausted itself and is leading us to internal collapse, and a person who is very efficient at carrying out this destruction.

So what do we do now?

The struggle must focus on two planes: political-social, and public.

The Political-Social Struggle

The referendum of Likud members was an excellent example of concerted action by all ideological forces in a political framework. The Yesha Council did a wonderful job in personal circles outside the party machine. The opposition committees set up inside the party also acted efficiently and with coordination.

This activity must continue. The relations established between the belief-based public and the national public must be preserved. Those who knocked on the doors of the Likudniks must be encouraged to phone them once a month, and encourage meetings. 

This is perhaps the most important task of the Yesha Council today. If we succeed in maintaining these strong links, no bulldozer will be able to overcome us.

Within the Likud, Manhigut Yehudit (Jewish Leadership) will continue all the steps it began with not insignificant success. Amendment 19c to the Likud Constitution is still on the agenda and will in the end prevent the prime minister from passing tragic decisions in the government. Conferences of the Likud Central Committee, preventing ministers straying from the right path, and consolidating forces within the Likud, are assignments that we shall continue with great energy. These combined activities directed at all Likud members as well as at Central Committee members, MKs, and ministers, will create a situation in which Sharon will find himself acting without backing from his party or from the public. But it is not enough to act only within the Likud.

The Public Struggle

Here we arrive at a point of truth that I didn't want to touch on.

In a democratic state in which government by the majority turns into a dictatorship by the minority, in a situation in which the wishes of the nation and the commitments made to it are trampled underfoot, law-observing and non-violent citizens have recourse to a honorable and democratic remedy: Non-violent civil disobedience.

The broad public must understand that the destruction of a neighborhood in Negohot, Beit El, or Karnei Shomron is a test case. If the people who came to Gush Katif on Independence Day will not leave their homes again when they hear of such intended destruction, Sharon will realize that his chosen path is possible, and he will continue along it. Obviously we must scrupulously avoid any forms of violence, but the entire country must shake to its foundations if any attempt is made at uprooting a settlement. 

Sharon must understand that he is not just playing a democratic game (which is valueless in his eyes) but is dealing with something far deeper. We must make him realize that his rule will only be weakened by such actions.

Sharon will then think of other solutions, until he leaves the stage of history and gives up his place, with G-d's help, to belief-based leadership. Such leadership will extend Israeli sovereignty to all areas of Eretz Israel in our hands, and will make supreme efforts to develop and settle them, just as is required by the values of Judaism and by the Likud Constitution.



THE LATEST ORTHODOX CONTROVERSY
As with every Jewish controversy—no matter how serious—there is always room for humor. If you don’t understand what this is all about, just e-mail Diogenes and he will try to explain it. The following lyrics are to be sung to “If You’re Happy And You Know It.”

If you’re your Jewish and you know it
Burn your wig
If you love God and want to show it
Burn your wig
Unless your instincts were prophetic
And your shaitel is synthetic
Go ahead, you won't regret it
Burn your wig

Semi, custom, fall, or box
Burn your wig
Avodah Zarah is in those locks
Burn your wig
Be it a Freeda, Ralph, or Claire
Might as well be Mother Mary
So be very, very wary
Burn your wig

If it's blond or black or brown
Burn your wig
Don't be the Apikorus in town
Burn your wig
Take it off and don't go near it
Wear a snood you'll have to bear it
Drive a Chevy, but don't wear it
Burn your wig

Do what's right, don't be heretical
Burn your wig
Just stay calm, don't get hysterical
Burn your wig
Your whole life is still ahead
Go put butter on your bread
But no Buddha on your head
Burn your wig


THE CONTROVERSY CONTINUES…AS DOES THE HUMOR
Now here is another dissertation on the same subject. This one, as you will recognize, is a take-off on the Passover song “Chad Gadya” or the Kid That My Father Bought For Two Zuzim.” Pardon the Galitzianer pronounciation.

One sheitel, one sheitel that the husband bought for an arm and a leg. One sheitel, one sheitel. 

And came The Sheitelmacher, who put it in her little shop, that husband bought with his life savings. One sheitel, one sheitel. 

And came the European Manufacturer, who sold it to the sheitelmacher, that husband mortgaged his house to buy. One sheitel, one sheitel. 

And came the Hindu Church, that auctioned it to the European manufacturer, who sold it to the sheitelmacher, that husband paid half a year's salary for. One sheitel, one sheitel. 

And came the Hindu Priest, who cut off the hair, that the church auctioned off, that the European manufacturer put in the highest bid for, who sold it to the Sheitelmacher, that husband went into credit card debt to purchase. One sheitel, one sheitel. 

And came the Hindu pilgrim, who bowed before the priest in an offering to Vishnu, and he shaved off the hair, which the church auctioned, that the European manufacturer got for a steal, who sold it to the Sheitelmacher, that husband created a tzedaka fund for. One sheitel, one sheitel. 

And came Rav Eliyashiv, Shlita, who paskended the hair was assur, that the pilgrim offered to the polytheistic gods, that the barber shaved, that the church auctioned, that the European manufacturer got his hands on for bupkis, who sold it to the Sheitelmacher, that the husband sold his daughter into slavery so that he purchase it. One sheitel, one sheitel. 

And came the Holy One, Blessed Be He, Who said, "I am the L-rd thy G-d, thou shalt not have any other gods before Me", which Rav Eliyashiv took very seriously, so he paskened the hair was assur that the pilgrim offered to the other gods, that the barber shaved off, that the church put up on eBay, that the European manufacturer couldn't believe the deal he got, who sold it to the Sheitelmacher, that the husband got his knee-caps broke because he couldn't pay off the interest from the loan he got from Goombah Vinny. One sheitel, one sheitel.



HEADLINES AND COMMENTS
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes.

S. Africa Turning Donkeys Into Mass Transit
Where do you stick the Metro Card?

Violence Against Hmongs Erupt In Minn.
The story said they are re-fighting the Viet Nam War. If Bush and Kerry can do it, why not the Hmongs?

$250K In Heroin Found In Raid
Police say one of the largest drug busts in Stamford history. President Bush is right, the economy is improving. 

Regulators Fine Riggs $25 Million 
Seems fair. The bank probably only made $100 million on the “suspicious activity” of laundering terrorist or drug money. 

Morocco Connection Is Emerging As Sleeper Threat In Terror War
I thought the Moroccans were “moderate” Arabs.

Couple Ordered To Have No More Children
While from the bench, the judge continued to yell, “please stop screwing while you’re still in my courtroom.”

First Same-Sex Marriages Draw Media Throng 
Do they mean “thong?”

Nigerian Leader Declares State Of Emergency In Violence-Torn State
Do you think Muslims are responsible? Good guess.

Sudanese Refugees Struggle, And Die, In Desert In Attempt To Flee Violence
Do you think Muslims are responsible? Good guess.

Spain's FM Stresses President al-Assad's Forthcoming Visit To Spain
The Inquisitors don’t remember how hard it was to drive the Arabs out the last time.

Americans Accused Of Killing 40 Iraqis At Wedding Celebration
You can always expect trouble when an uninvited guest barges in on a raucous Arab wedding. But this guest stole all of the wedding presents that were given to the bridal couple—the RPGs, the grenades, the roadside bombs, the night vision gun sights, the shoulder-fired missile launchers and the big pile of cash. The guest did leave the checks.

Manny And Schilling Tame Diamondbacks 
I’m not trying to be modest, but they’re not talking about me.



QUOTES I LIKE
Diogenes considers them clever, not that he necessarily agrees with them.

Sarge: From now on don’t refer to Otto as a “mutt,’ a "pooch” or a “mongrel.”
Beetle: What should I call him?
Sarge: He’s a “Canine-American.”
Beetle: Political correctness strikes again.
     - Beetle Bailey (comic strip)

Attorney General: The chief law enforcement officer of a government whose major task is to protect and defend that government in its illegal activities.
     - Edmund H. Volkart

How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
    - Anonymous

Thoughts while stuck in a traffic jam on I-95: As we creep along at under 2 miles per hour, I pass two trucks with the name “Swift” painted on their side. Dreamers. I pass another with the name “China Shipping” and the inspiration hits me to modernize the old song to “I want to get you on a slow 18-wheeler to China.” Do you think it will sell?
     - Diogenes

If a speaker doesn’t strike oil within 10 minutes, he should stop boring.
      - Anonymous

Those rascal Republicans in Washington have put an end to the myth of white 
supremacy.
     - Charles Rangel


READERS’ COMMENTS

Re: The West Has Not Learned, Vol. IV, #16-- Come on Mr. Diogenes, we know you’re Greek which might excuse some tendency towards extremism; we know that fundamentalist Islam is a scourge, a threat to civilization and Kultur, which must be stamped out, decapitated, but….

Be careful about dehumanizing the enemy. The Nazis called Jews pigs and rodents. You call the Arabs bugs, compare them to bedbugs. If our enemies are bugs, what does that make us?

When you dehumanize another human being, you become less than human yourself.

Your argument about method is essentially correct, but it is difficult to read past the first two paragraphs to get to your correct prescription for a misdiagnosed disease.

Diogenes responds: I would agree with you that if the controversy between you and your “enemy” was about which baseball team was better you should not attempt to dehumanize him. However, if the controversy involves life and death and your enemy is determined to murder you, it is wise to dehumanize him. This is a war to the death and we don’t want anyone on our side dropping their guard by feeling sorry for the Islamic murderers.

As for the fact that the Nazis tried to dehumanize the Jews does not mean that we shouldn’t turn their lies on today’s Nazis. Just because people tell lies about the Jews does not mean that we should not tell the truth about them,

You asked, that if the Arabs are bedbugs, what does that make us?
Exterminators?

So says Diogenes. What do you say?  Click here to send in your comments

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