THE DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
July 2004, VOL. IV, # 23
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NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE FAILURE

One of the public figures that personifies the above headline is Dennis Ross, better known as “Dennis the Menace.” As director for policy planning in the State Department under President George H. W. Bush and special Middle East coordinator under President Bill Clinton, every plan and policy he touched was an unmitigated failure. On the other hand, he knows a lot of people with money and influence.

These days, he heads The Jewish People Policy Planning Institute, a Washington think tank, funded in part by the Jewish Agency for Israel. You could say that we continue to meet the enemy and he continues to be us. Someone should ask the Jewish Agency what Dennis the Menace ever did that was favorable to Israel. In addition he heads the Washington Institute for Near East Policy. He also is a Fox News consultant and an inveterate write of op-ed pieces. In all of these activities he is giving advice to the public, the Administration and the Democratic Party wannabees on how to solve the problems in the Middle East that he couldn’t handle when he was in power.

In an op-ed column earlier this month he claims that Egypt “has signaled a new—even unprecedented-readiness to play an intensive leading role in ending the Israeli-Palestinian war.” Based on his recent trip to the Middle East, he is “convinced that the Egyptian decision is sincere and quite firm.” He takes as a sign of their sincerity that they claim that they will stop the weapons smuggling from Egypt to Gaza—a major cause for the fighting in that area. If the Egyptians are so sincere about helping bring about peace why have they allowed the weapons smuggling to go on for years?

How does Dennis explain that the totalitarian dictatorship that is Egypt, could not end the arms smuggling any time it wanted to? It is much more likely that funneling arms to the Palestinians was and continues to be a government policy. 

Dennis also accepts at face value that the Egyptian offer to train the Palestinian police and security services in Gaza if Israel retreats is intended to bring peace and security to the area. A more realistic interpretation would be that just like the weapons that Israel supplied to the Arabs for security purposes this training will help spawn a more deadly Intifada. I have described just a few of his inane conclusions. Ross’s gullibility and ignorance of the dynamics of the Middle East explain his long tenure in the State Department and his lack of achievement as special Middle East coordinator. Egypt does not want stability among the Arabs in Israel or along its borders.

Perhaps Ross is not as stupid as he comes across, but merely devious. He may understand that Egypt is arming itself to the teeth with Israel as the only object of its war machine. Instability in Israel proper including Judea, Samaria and Gaza is a handmaiden of its battle plan. But since Dennis is gunning for a position in a Kerry Administration, he would not want to become persona non grata with the Egyptians or other Arabs. This is a quite underhanded but in keeping with the strategies used by politicians and diplomats.



“PEACE NOW” DOES NOT MEAN peace now!

Unfortunately, many American Jews and some Israeli Jews believe that “Peace Now”—the organization of that name—stands for a peaceful solution to the turmoil in the land of Israel. In reality, they stand for a solution—which can well become a “final solution”—that can lead to “peace” based on the dismemberment of the State of Israel. Masquerading as an organization devoted to the welfare of the Jewish state, it is the spiritual heir of such prominent Jews as Martin Buber and Judah Magnes who were opposed to a Jewish state.

“Peace Now” is as much about peace and the survival of Israel as “America First” was about the welfare of the United States rather than about allowing Nazi Germany to grow in strength. Perhaps, not by intent, “Peace Now’s” policies would increase the level of Arab terror and murder of Jews in Israel—and elsewhere in the world.

“Peace Now” reminds me of another Jewish organization in the United States during the 1930s and ‘40s that actively opposed the establishment of a Jewish state. It was the American Council for Judaism, which was supported mainly by wealthy American Jews of German origin and elements of the Reform movement. Members of the Ochs-Sulzberger family of The New York Times fame were leaders in this American Council, which may help explain the historical and current policies of The Times vis-à-vis Israel.

Today, I believe that you will find many wealthy American Jews as supporters of “Peace Now.” The rank and file can be counted as among those who can find worth in every people but their own, You likely can find a good number stretched out on psychoanalyst couches explaining why they hate their mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers. Give me another good reason why they would support the demands of barbarians against the only civilized culture in the Middle East—which is also their own culture. The news items below describe the pressures that “Peace Now” and another useless organization are putting on the Israeli and American Governments on behalf of the Arabs.

“The Anti-Defamation League and Americans for Peace Now are publicly pressuring Israel to make one-sided concessions to the terrorist Palestinian Authority regime by dismantling Jewish outposts in Judea-Samaria, but have been silent with regard to the numerous illegal Palestinian Arab outposts in those areas.”

The Jerusalem Post reported (July 8, 2004) that ADL national director Abe Foxman publicly warned that the U.S. is "disappointed" that Israel has not yet torn down every one of the outposts; that the issue "hurts Israel's image;" and that it undermines Israel's "self-respect" and its reputation as "a country of law and order." The Jewish Telegraphic Agency reported (July 8, 2004) that Americans for Peace Now has sent a letter to the White House stating that "President Bush should pressure Ariel Sharon to accelerate action against unauthorized settlement outposts."

Lest we forget, Abe Foxman sent a letter to President Clinton requesting a pardon for that world-class thief, Marc Rich. Abe has yet to send a letter to any president requesting a pardon for Jonathan Pollard. Of course, Marc Rich contributed substantial sums to the Anti-Defamation League.



IS THIS WHY EVERYONE PICKS ON JEWISH MOTHERS?

Evidence from the Internet.

MONA LISA’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“This you call a smile, after all the money your father and I spent on braces?”

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER:
“I don’t care what you discovered, you still should have written!”

MICHELANGELO’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Why can’t you paint on the walls like other children? Do you know how hard it is to get this junk off the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Alright, if you’re not hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Again with the hat! Why can’t you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance goodbye!” (Obviously, George’s mother and the person who wrote this never heard of the Rappahannock River.)

THOMAS EDISON’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. 
Now turn it off and go to sleep.”

PAUL REVERE’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“I don’t care where you think you have to go young man, midnight is long past your curfew.”

And then these two, who really did have Jewish mothers:

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“But it’s your senior photograph! Couldn’t you have done something about your hair?”

MOSES’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“That’s a good story! Now tell me where you’ve really been for the last 40 years!”



HEADLINES AND COMMENTS
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes.

Edward’s Career As Trial Lawyer Sets Off Debate
The Republicans don’t like trial lawyers. They seem to prefer the doctors who perpetrate malpractice; the drug companies who peddle dangerous drugs; the auto companies that manufacture cars that flip over; the builders who use asbestos; and the utilities that don’t maintain their nuclear plants. The Republicans don’t like the fact that trial lawyers are the last line of defense for the American public in general, and the consumer in particular.

Official: Afghan Election Could be Delayed
Surprise! Surprise!

Egyptian Air Capability Modernized (getting ready?)
Readers of The Diogenes Report know all about this issue. The question is not if there will be a war between Egypt and Israel, but when will the fighting start and who will strike the first blow.

Mexican President’s Chief Of Staff Resigns
He was last seen hightailing it toward the Rio Grande.

No Time To Bury Dead As Sudanese Try To Escape
I must be going deaf; I hear no outcry or even a peep from the African-Americans.

Jewish Groups Step Up Efforts To Stop Crisis Developing In Sudan
Those Jews never learned to mind their own business.

N.Y. Post Apologizes For Declaring Gephardt VP Candidate
When will they apologize for declaring Cheney VP candidate?

Archdiocese Of Portland Files For Bankruptcy
Is it spiritual bankruptcy or financial bankruptcy?

Lawsuit Accuses Arab Bank Of Aiding Terrorists
Why should an Arab bank be any different than an Arab school, or an Arab mosque, or the Arab Red Crescent or an Arab diplomat? Pardon me for being so “Politically Incorrect” and so truthful.

Virtual Camp Trains Soldiers In Arabic, And More
A sword comes out of the computer and tries to cut off their heads 
to make the training more realistic.

Malloy Has Most Cash In Race For Governor’s Office
If he wins the race he’ll have trunks-full of cash. Ask ex-Governor Rowland.

Men Recall Failed Sail For Freedom From Nazis
Let us recall the two names, that in combination, will live in infamy—
Franklin Delano Roosevelt and the St. Louis.

Fewer Noses Stuck In Books In America, Survey Finds
Why bother with books when you can learn more while you’re being entertained by 
The Diogenes Report and your nose won’t get stuck to the computer screen?

Senate Iraq Report Said To Skirt White House Use Of Intelligence
Intelligence seems to be a missing commodity in the White House.

Pfizer Reports China Has Lifted Its Viagra Patent
The Chinese claim that acupuncture gives them a greater lift. 

Handyman To Go On Trial In Kidnapping Of Teacher
The teacher’s husband hired the handyman to do odd jobs around the house. Two of the “odd jobs” he may have done is kidnapping her and later murdering her. Maybe we should be grateful for the handymen that don’t show up.

Gunmen Execute Palestinian Accused Of Collaborating.
Those Arabs are really embracing democracy!!!

Kansas Teen’s Death On Railroad Tracks A Mystery
The body was found tied to the track with baling wire. The Sheriff’s Department is not saying whether it considers the death a homicide. The sheriff should watch a few more episodes of Law and Order.

Egypt’s Government Gets An Overhaul
They throttled the still, small voice that was calling for reform.

Bombing Sets Pipeline Afire; Captives Alive, Reports Suggest
The American forces should guard the pipeline and forget about protecting Iraq’s cities. We should use the oil revenues to pay for the two wars caused by Iraq.

Russian Merchants Display Their Wares At Arms Expo:  The Place To Buy A Tank, A Rocket Or A Jet
It never makes sense for Diogenes to let down his cynical guard like he did in the previous issue where he claimed that Russia was reducing its role in the arms race.

Winner-Take-All Elections Isn’t Right Plan For Iraqi Voters
Of course not, the Shiites would control the government. It wasn’t right for America either, Gore would have won the 2000 election. But it was right for South Africa. 
Think about it.

Scientist Follow Progress Of Solar Storm On Planets
Does that include the Islamic fundamentalist storm sweeping across Planet Earth?

Railroads Hide Crash Evidence 
Does the Bush Administration support the railroads or the trial lawyers who can win compensation for the victims? 

Abuse Victim Advocates Focus On Vatican’s Role
Do they think the aiders and abettors will become empathetic? Fat chance. 

Member Of Burden Drug Ring Gets 9-1/2 Years
That makes 35 gang members convicted. Now that’s a real burden on the Connecticut prison system.

In Congo, Efforts To Protect Rare Mountain Gorillas
A truly noble action. Now why don’t they do the same thing for the humans there who are being slaughtered by the hundreds of thousands?

Lieberman To Speak At Democratic Convention
They found someone to go “flop” when Kerry goes “flip”

Whooping Cough Making A Comeback
Why not? The whooping cranes did it.


QUOTES I LIKE
Diogenes considers them clever, not that he necessarily agrees with them.

Jack Valente describing How the Voting Rights Bill of 1965 was passed: I went to each Southern senator and told him, President Johnson says that he will always remember if you support this bill and if you vote against it, he will never forget. 
     - Jack Valente

When it comes to a battle of the wills, don’t overestimate yourself or underestimate me.
     - Diogenes

Politics is almost as exciting as war. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
     - Winston Churchill

The misfortune of the “artistic temperament” is that so many people have the temperament and so few the art.
     - J. Alfred Spender

In America, the young are always ready to give advice to those who are older than them the benefit of their inexperience.
     - Oscar Wilde

How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy.
     - Paul Sweeney

A lobbyist is a person that is supposed to help a politician to make up his mind, not only help him, but pay him.
     - Will Rogers

Cosmo: My uncle died over a year ago! What seems to be the delay?
Attorney: Be patient, Mr. Fishhawk…where there’s a will, there’s a wait.
     - SHOE (comic strip)

I write every night for two hours after dinner. Writing is like milking a cow. If you don’t milk a cow, the udder dries out. If you want to write—write. The more you theorize or intellectualize about writing, the less writing you accomplish.
     - Chayym Zeldis

Make love, not war. Hell, do both-- get married!
     - Sign in women’s restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana

It’s that time of year again in Pamplona and I love to run with the bulls.
     - Elsie

Doc: Sarge! It’s 2 A.M.!
Sarge: I’m sorry doctor, this diet you put me on has made me so frazzled I can’t sleep!
Doc: Oh, OK. Take two doughnuts and call me in the morning.
     - BEETLE BAILEY (comic strip)

People are more opposed to fur than leather because it’s easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
     - Bumper sticker

I’m a really good camper. I can sleep on the ground. There are many, many good people who have gone to prison. Look at Nelson Mandela.
     - Martha Stewart

A young photographer photographed Sir Winston Churchill on his 80th birthday. When he was finished, he said, ‘I hope I will be able to photograph you again on your 90th birthday.’ Sir Winston answered, ‘That shouldn’t be a problem, you look healthy enough.
     - Abba Eban

Keep cool; anger is not an argument.
     - Daniel Webster

Autobiography is probably the most respectable form of lying.
     - Humphrey Carpenter

They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's nothing. He once raised $500 million with two words: 'I do.'
     - Jay Leno

During the Democratic presidential debate Howard Dean started off by apologizing to the crowd for having a cold. Then John Kerry apologized for once having a cold while serving his country in Vietnam.
      - Conan O'Brien

So says Diogenes. What do you say?  Click here to send in your comments 

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