THE DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
August 2004, VOL. IV, # 27
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IT’S TIME FOR ACTION

There are times for wit, times for wisdom and times for wituperation. There are also times for action. This is one of those times. Congressman Anthony Weiner wrote to President Bush asking him to free Jonathan Pollard. Now is the time to support Representative Weiner’s request with a flood of e-mails to the President, the Vice President and other government officials. The following tells you how to do it.

Follow the instructions and do it now, while you’re on the computer. Make yourself feel good and e-mail your friends to do the same.

President George W. Bush
The White House
Washington, D.C.

Dear Mr. President:

You have said you support Prime Minister Sharon's risk taking for peace. He has lost his majority in the Israeli Knesset taking the political risks you have urged him to make. Couldn't you show him some reciprocity by releasing Jonathan Pollard from prison and sending him to Israel?

Congressman Anthony Weiner wrote you a letter this week urging that you do this. His letter is particularly pertinent since in it he mentions the special security briefings he has received concerning the Pollard case and how that classified information supports his call for releasing Pollard now.

Pollard has served more than his fair time. It would be fair of you, and a fair return for the risks Prime Minister Sharon has run at your urging, if you would release him now.

I am pasting a copy of Congressman Weiner's letter underneath my name.

Sincerely,
(your name here)
(your address here)
(your phone # here)



Congress of the United States
House of Representatives
Washington DC 20515-3209
Congressman Anthony D. Weiner

August 7, 2004

President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20500

Dear Mr. President:

I write to request that you grant clemency to Jonathan Pollard.

Today is Mr. Pollard's 50th birthday. This is the 19th year he has celebrated his birthday in prison. No other person convicted of espionage on behalf of an United States ally has ever been imprisoned for so long.

Mr. Pollard has admitted he broke U.S. laws. He has expressed sorrow for what he did. Mr. Pollard cooperated fully with the investigation into his activities and he waived his right to a jury trial. He has served more than enough time for the crime of passing information to an ally.

The life sentence which Jonathan Pollard is now serving is not a reflection of the severity of the crimes he committed, but rather the result of ineffective counsel. In a recent review of Mr. Pollard's case, former United States District Judge George N. Leighton wrote, "[t]he evidence shows that the government engaged in serious misconduct that went unchecked by an ineffective defense counsel, Richard Hibey, and ... these constitutional violations severely prejudiced Mr. Pollard, and resulted in his sentence of life in prison."

I have been advised that Mr. Pollard has not submitted a formal petition to the Pardon Attorney of the United States Department of Justice. This is due to the Justice Department's continuing refusal to permit Mr. Pollard's attorneys access to portions of five sentencing documents in the court's docket, totaling approximately 35 to 40 pages of material. The attorneys have the appropriate security clearances to see these court documents, and they plainly have a "need to know" what is in their client's court file. Until they have been afforded access to these materials, they believe it is premature to submit any application for executive clemency or similar relief.

I hope that your administration will ensure that Mr. Pollard's security-cleared legal counsel is given an opportunity to review these documents so that they can present an effective and viable clemency application.

Mr. Pollard did commit a serious crime and he deserved to be punished for his action. However, after reviewing the facts of the case and receiving multiple classified briefings on this matter, I believe that he has served a sentence that far exceeds the appropriate term for the crime he has committed. Mr. President, the time has come to free Jonathan Pollard. As he celebrates his 50th birthday in jail, I respectfully urge you to grant him clemency and send him home to Israel.

Thank you for your consideration of this matter.

Sincerely,

(signed)
ANTHONY D. WEINER
Member of Congress

==^======================================
The President's email: president@whitehouse.gov
The Vice President's email: vice.president@whitehouse.gov
White House phone: 202-456-1111 Fax: 202-456-2461
Senate and House switchboard: 202-224-3121
Click on "Govt. Email Addresses" at www.vipac.org for other officials.
==^======================================



HE IS REALLY A COMPASSIONATE REACTIONARY

George W. Bush likes to style himself as a “compassionate conservative. A conservative, however, is one who wishes to maintain the status quo, but this President’s policies are aimed at overturning present laws and customs and going back to less compassionate and civilized times.

For example, the draft dodgers that lead the Republican Party have pushed veterans’ benefits back to World War I days. Suspects are being denied the right to their habeas corpus, which may have taken us all the way back to Colonial times. The Administration’s planned “adjustments” to Social Security and Medicare will take the country back to the Hoover and Eisenhower Administrations.

This is not conservatism; these are out and out reactionary moves. I don’t think “compassionate conservatism” cuts it. If they are looking for alliteration, how about “reactionary republicanism?’

What’s next on the president’s agenda…changing the National Science Foundation to the National Creationism Foundation?



THE ANNUAL STELLA AWARDS

The Stellas are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. 

5th place (Tied). - Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th place (Tied). - 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps!

5th place (Tied). - Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th place. - Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's Beagle dog The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place. - A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

2nd place. - Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place. - This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.



NAMES
Names that fit and names that don’t.

Lt. Herman Badger is the head of the Investigative Services Division of the New Haven, CT police. Is his name a sign that he merely badgers suspects and does not beat them?

Here is a name that really fits: Jennifer Herring is the new president and chief executive officer of the Maritime Aquarium at Norwalk. Previously, she was senior VP at the Wildlife Conservation Society that runs the New York Aquarium. She’s never a fish out of water. (Stamford Advocate, 8/17/04)



HEADLINES AND COMMENTS
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes.

Egypt’s Ruling Party Newspaper: Holocaust Is A Zionist Lie To Extort The West
Yeah, and the Egyptian Air Force destroyed the Israeli Air Force during the Six Day War.

Close Races Seen in Mexico
Who will get across the Rio Grande first?

Drug Wars In Mexico Overshadow Extraditions To The United States
Why don’t they stop fighting and get their drugs from Canada, then they can ship them to the United States instead of extraditing them?

Disengagement Must Do More Than Box In Palestinians
1. Of course. Another twisted Jew insists that the Palestinians should have ready access to murder Israelis
2. From September 2000-July 2004, the Palestinians launched 568 terrorist raids against Israel; 423 were thwarted; that means 185 succeeded. How many Israelis, Americans and others ended up in boxes? But don’t box in the Arabs.

Arabs On The Verge Of Democracy
An op-ed piece by Daniella Pletka who claims to be a vice president of the American Enterprise Institute. I say that, more likely, she is the last comedian standing.

U.S. To Allow Longer Visits For Mexicans
25 to life?

Reporters Warned Not To Cover PA Chaos
This is a sign that the Arabs are starting to embrace democracy, at least freedom of the press. They will only murder reporters that report honestly. It’s a start.

PM Sharon: I Believe In Living Together
That’s easy for him to say. What do the Arabs say …and do?

Israeli Leftist Suspected In Planning Terror Attacks With Palestinian Ex-Boyfriend
Not surprising but remember, you read it here first. What’s worse is that the Israeli left is starting to accuse the “settlers” of planning terrorist attacks. The left in Israel has a long history of perpetrating atrocities, often against Jews, and blaming the “right.” The Israeli security services, dominated by leftwingers, are leaders in this defamation technique.

Police Search For Woman Suspected of Stealing Clothes: 
Two New Canaan Stores Report Missing Merchandise
Didn’t anyone notice that a naked woman walked into Main Street stores?

Rowland Appeals For Help With Legal Bills
There must be some contractors who will give him a few more bucks.

Ann Carter Reads Yesterday At The Christian Science Reading Room On Prospect Street In Stamford, Which Is Next to A Laundromat (photo caption)
Clean soul, clean body, clean clothes.

Pakistani Man Arrested For Videotaping Buildings
It’s just an assignment for his course at Islamabad University on terrorist photography.

Details Emerge About Drug Allegations In Haiti
So much for the allegations that the drug companies are ignoring Third World countries.

Shays Cites Progress In Iraq
Of course there is progress. Our money, our weapons and 150,000 fighting men have convinced many Iraqis to be on “our side.” We’ve got the others who don’t realize that we’re their friends, holed-up in 15 cities. Except for the times that they sneak out to bug us. If this is not progress, what is?

Accusers Not Allowed To Speak At Religious Conference
Women abused by nuns will not be allowed to speak at nun’s convention. The spokeswoman for the nuns says they have “reached out” to the victims. Oh, oh!

Palestinian College Grads Storm, Demand Jobs
Arafat promised them the jobs, but he is giving the suicide bombing jobs to high school drop-outs. They have a legitimate complaint.

Iraqi Conferees Decide to Send a Delegation to Embattled Holy City
What can be holier to a Muslim than being able to fire rockets from the city’s main mosque?

Venezuela Votes By Large Margin To Retain Chávez:
An opposition movement refused to accept the results, raising prospects for more turmoil in the world's fifth-largest oil exporter. This is The New York Times subhead. Even the “humanitarian” Times doesn’t care a whit about the election means for the people of Venezuela. The paper’s concern is about its oil exports.

Kobe Judge Loosens Gag Order
Does that mean he can testify at the Scott Peterson trial about his sexual escapades with Amber Frye?

Airstrike In Gaza Kills Five, Including Militants
Too bad they missed the terrorists.

Report: U.S. Changes Stance On Settlement Construction
The decision drew condemnation Saturday from both Peace Now and the left-wing radical parties in Israel. Let’s see if we have any favorable comments from Kerry and the Democrats.

Gay Governor Scandal: He’s Out—And He’s Out
Golan took him to the heights.



QUOTES I LIKE
Diogenes considers them clever, not that he necessarily agrees with them.

If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right,
     - Mary Kay Ash

Bar patron: Lucille was your third wife, right?
Shoe: Yeah…we had a lot in common. It was about an acre and she got it in the divorce.
     - SHOE (comic strip)

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.
     - Dorothy Parker

My daughter has her Master’s
My son, his Ph.D.
But father is the only one
Who has a J_O_B.
     - Anonymous

Recently Michael Moore had no comment when questioned about the rumor that members of Hezbollah had been involved in the distribution of Fahrenheit 9/11. 
     - Sometimes, the absence of a good quote is as powerful as a good quote

Words are a form of action, capable of influencing change. Their articulation represents a complete lived experience.
      - Ingrid Bengis



READERS’ COMMENTS

You are entitled to your opinion. I worked with NCJW and the women who worked with Hillary Clinton to help Palestinian women and students get educations, and they were mostly Jewish women, bridging the gap and forging close bonds and friendships with more moderate and intelligent people. The terrorists and the bombers are not all Palestinians. The Democrats in office then were not anti-Israel. Kerry is really partly Jewish, although he cannot admit it due to public opinion. He stated as did Edwards that they would continue their close alliance with the friend, Israel and they were quite clear about it. The Bush administration is anti everyone but its own fundamentalist narrow-minded thieving and wealthy selves. They are as crooked as they come. We are living here and now. They haven't done a thing for Israel.

Diogenes’ Response—
Sorry--But I don't give a crap about Arab women getting an education. The NCJW has a left wing agenda. The record of the Clinton gang on Israel is clear and it's there for everyone to read. They worked to roll back the borders of Israel and to divide Jerusalem, Unfortunately for the Jewish people, for a good part of the time they had a left wing Israeli government with the same agenda. There are a hell of a lot of things that I don't like about Bush's policies vis a vis Israel--like arming Egypt to the teeth--but I don't hear Kerry or his advisors objecting to those policies. The Democrats do not stand for a strong Israel. They just talk about it. Actually Bush is not that much better--just a little. I am still weighing the probabilities. I left my knee-jerk liberal outlook back in Brooklyn.

By the way, it carries no weight with me if a politician in 1/4 or 1/2 or all Jewish. In some national position a Jew is dangerous--like Joe Lieberman.

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Reader’s Response to Diogenes---
Oy vey....you know, you would be one of the first people the Bush-Cheney Right Wing Religious Fanatics, likened to the KKK and the Nazis, would round up and kill if they had the chance. Don't be a fool with your vote. Please don't vote for division and hatemongering, and wasteful spending, and corporate excess, and loss of jobs to outsourcing, rising prices due to private interests and oil issues. For G'd sakes, everyone who believes the environment should be kept clean and healthy and that civil rights and justice in the Constitution and Bill of Rights should be allowed to be exercised without oppression, and everyone who believes negotiations and unity vs. attack and destroy the wrong target, in a wasteful and unplanned manner....everyone who cares about lives of people and the middle class as well as that the elderly and others be able to afford their prescription drugs and receive medical care... and educational opportunities for all, is not a Left Wing Liberal. It is the intelligent person, the humane person, the caring and compassionate, courageous person who leads a country mindfully, and with value for human life and differences between cultures. Calm down dear ____. You are backing another Hitler type dictator, a dark horse. Kerry-Edwards offer hope and help. The other team offers destruction and corruption of everything the US Constitution and Bill of Rights was supposed to enable for the goodness and fairness of men and women



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