THE DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
October 2004, VOL. IV, #31
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REGIME-CHANGE IS RELATIVELY EASY,
MIND-CHANGE IS NIGH-ON IMPOSSIBLE

One of the issues being kicked around (note, I did not say discussed because that implies there is some rationality to the argument) in the Presidential campaign is how soon the American forces can be removed from Iraq. John Kerry has been mentioning four years (give or take a century); George Bush has been talking about when democracy is fully established in the country, which also may mean a century (give or take four years).

Based on America’s experience since World War II, Russia’s experience since the mid 1800s and the experience of just about every other conquering and colonial nation on the globe, I’ll predict that America is likely to remain in Iraq for 100 years and counting. Unless, of course, we get around to saying that we don’t care what happens in that country; that expecting to establish democracy in Iraq is an impossible dream or a very possible nightmare; and that it is more important to attend to business in other nations. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

Let’s see what we can learn from other places that the U.S. and others have tried to transform.

Two poor examples

The examples that most non-thinkers give to show that regime-change and mind-change are intertwined are the defeats of Japan and Germany in World War II. Since the U.S. did not give either of those nations any wiggle room that would allow them to manifest their national mind-set, it is impossible to tell whether their mind-set truly changed with their regime-change. However, from time-to-time the old mind-set manifests itself in both Japan and Germany.

A recent NY Times article notes that Japanese historians and novelists who want to restore pride in their history are reviving fantasies that the conquest of Manchuria was a just and noble mission to modernize that land. For the Chinese, this retelling of history has stirred a ‘powerful resurgence of memories of atrocities and subjugation.’ This is just one example of how the Japanese have tried to rewrite the history of the conquests and holocausts they perpetrated throughout Asia. It is only when their victims raise a hue and cry and threaten economic sanctions do the Japanese back off. You would think that 60 years after we effected regime-change we would see a complete mind-change.

Under the occupation and domination of America and the Soviet Union, Germany has been in no position to assert its historical nationalism and racism. Nevertheless, some sparks illuminate their past—attacks on Turkish workers and their families and occasional meetings of member or sympathizers of various Nazi organizations to recall the good old days. The German Government keeps a tight lid on such behavior. What is simmering under the surface is difficult to discover, but with the near impossibility of connecting mind-change with regime-change, the world should keep its powder dry.

It doesn’t work anywhere

The Russians, Austro-Hungarians and Germans inflicted regime-change on the Poles for well over 100 years but this didn’t keep the Poles from maintaining their mind-set about having their own nation. For close to 200 years, the Russian orchestrated regime-change in Chechnya hasn’t effected a mind-change among the Chechens. This list of examples of how regime-change almost never leads to mind-change can go on and on—Viet Nam, Algeria, Egypt, Yugoslavia, Czechoslovakia, etc., etc., etc.

To support my thesis, I’ll conclude with an example of regime-change that lasted over 2,000 years without bringing along mind-change. The Romans brought about regime-change in Judea long before they destroyed the Second Temple in 70 C.E. and long before they exiled most of the Jews after the Bar Kochba revolt in 135 C.E. Yes, the Romans changed the regime, but the Jews did not change their minds about wanting to control their own destiny. Voila—Israel!

So, I would caution America’s leaders who believe that regime-change in Afghanistan and Iraq will last longer than the American occupation of those countries. It’s an impossible dream.



MORE FOLKS ARE SAYING IT, BUT THE NEW YORK TIMES GAGS ON IT

Remember you heard Mayor Koch’s message early and you hear it often in The Diogenes Report.
Mayor Koch’s letter to The New York Times
In an article reporting the decapitation by terrorists in Iraq of American civilian Eugene Armstrong, The Times reporter wrote: 
“In the video of the beheading, an insurgent wearing a ski mask and surrounded by four men with assault rifles says the group is killing Mr. Armstrong because the American occupiers and the interim Iraqi government failed to meet the deadline. Much of the man's long speech is addressed to President Bush, who is called a dog at one point." 
Please note that the news article omitted an important part of the story which was the exact phrase uttered by the executioner at the time he cut Armstrong's throat and severed his head from his body. That phrase was, "Oh you Christian dog, Bush, stop your arrogance." 
The reference to President Bush by the terrorist strengthens the belief of many that we are involved in a war of civilizations. Fanatic Islamists believe that Christians and Jews who do not recognize the supremacy of Islam should die. That awful message is part of the story and The Times erred in not carrying that quote which many other papers did. 
Lee Hamilton, Co-Chairman of the 9/11 Commission, has said in describing Muslim terrorists, "They want to kill us." Why? Because those making up western civilization and its ideas which Jihad is bent on destroying are overwhelmingly Christians and Jews. I believe it is President Bush's faith that gives him the strength to stay with and implement the Bush Doctrine which is, "We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them." 
Your reporter refers to the spokesman for the murderers as an "insurgent." What would it take for The Times to call someone who has just participated in the beheading of an innocent civilian a terrorist? I am sure the public would like to know. 
All the best. 
Sincerely,
Edward I. Koch 


A MESSAGE FOR THE JEWISH PIGS AND MONKEYS WHO MARCH FOR ARAB “RIGHTS’ ON AMERICA’S COLLEGE CAMPUSES

PLO ENGLISH SPOKESMEN CLASH WITH PA TV MESSAGES
(adapted from a September 21 news report from Arutz Sheva)

PLO English spokesman Ashrawi: "Peace with justice is a real determining factor of our lives."
PA TV sermon: "The Muslims will kill the Jews and rejoice"

While PA Chairman Yasser Arafat's chief English spokesperson, Hanan Ashrawi, speaks of peace and human rights, the Palestinian Authority television station broadcasts the opposite message to the Arab residents. Video footage released yesterday of Dr. Ashrawi addressing an overseas audience in English may be compared with two Arabic TV programs broadcast just last week on PA TV. 

In honor of the International Day of Prayer for Peace, the World Council of Churches posted on its website today an eloquent video message from PA spokesperson Hanan Ashrawi, who declares, "Peace with justice is not an abstract value; it is a real determining factor of our lives. It is a most basic human right, and we appreciate everything you've done, in order not just to talk about peace with justice for Palestine and Israel, but also to act on that basis." 

At the same time, a video address from the same offices broadcast a very different message. Palestinian Media Watch (PMW) captured footage of two PA TV programs in three recent days showing official religious leaders openly calling for the genocide of Jews. In one of them, the televised sermon of Friday, September 10, Sheikh Ibrahim Madiras told the Arab neighbors of the Jews in Judea, Samaria, and Gaza: "The Prophet said: the Resurrection will not take place until the Muslims fight the Jews, and the Muslims kill them. The Muslims will kill the Jews, rejoice [in it], rejoice in Allah's Victory. The Muslims will kill the Jews, and he [the Jew] will hide. The Prophet said: the Jews will hide behind the rock and tree, and the rock and tree will say: O servant of Allah, o Muslim this is a Jew behind me, come and kill him! Why is there this malice? Because there are none who love the Jews on the face of the earth: not man, not rock, and not tree everything hates them. They destroy everything. They destroy the trees and destroy the houses. Everything wants vengeance on the Jews, on these pigs on the face of the earth, and the day of our victory, Allah willing, will come."

While Ashrawi speaks in English of "courage, conviction, integrity and a genuine commitment to peace with justice," Muslim religious leader Dr. Muhammad Ibrahim Maadi presents the killing of Jews not merely as the will of Allah, but also as a necessary stage in history that should be carried out now. On September 12, Maadi said on his weekly PA TV show: "We are waging this cruel war with the brothers of the monkeys and pigs, the Jews and the sons of Zion. The Jews will fight you, and you will subjugate them. Until the Jew will stand behind the tree and rock. And the tree and rock will say: oh Muslim, oh servant of Allah, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him.

Numerous times in recent years, Arab religious leaders and academics in the areas controlled by the Palestinian Authority have taught publicly that the Islamic teaching calling for the murder of Jews applies today. Even Ashrawi herself, according to PMW Director Itamar Marcus, "did not condemn in Arabic the suicide bombing that killed tens in a Jerusalem pizza shop, or the hundreds of civilians murdered on buses, in recent years. Not even once... 

The first public statement against suicide terrorism in Arabic was made by Ashrawi only in an open petition she signed with other Palestinians in the Al-Quds newspaper on June 19, 2002... However, even a simple reading of the petition shows that she explicitly does not reject terror as a tool when it is politically effective, but only when it causes political damage. The petition does not include a single word of condemnation of suicide terrorism, and does not rule out terrorism at times when it is an effective tool. It deals entirely with the negative political results of suicide terrorism now for her cause."

Marcus concludes: "Ashrawi is not a moderate by any Western standard. She is a slick terrorist supporter who understands the importance of public relations, proper timing and spin for terrorism."



GROW OLD ALONG WITH ME

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."



EVERYONE IS PICKING ON DAN

Dan Rather of CBS news was seated next to little Tommy on the plane when Rather turned to the boy and said, "Let's talk, I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers." 

Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to Rather, "What would you like to discuss?" 

"Oh, I don't know" said Rather, "How about politics? Should we keep Bush as president or elect Kerry?" 

"OK" said Little Tommy, "That could be an interesting topic but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out flat patties, and a horse excretes clumps of dried grass. Why do you think that is?" 

"Jeez" said Rather, "I have no idea." 

"Well then" said Little Tommy, "how is it you feel qualified to discuss who should run this country when you don't know shit?"



JEWISH ZEN MOMENTS
(from the Internet)

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such round shoulders.

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish.

Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. 
With the third, Danish.

The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish?

Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster.

To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes!



HOW A CIA ANALYSIS WORKS

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the hell the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the Meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.
One week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" he asked. "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It looks like it's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy".



A RARE POLISH JOKE 

A Polish immigrant goes to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. He has to take an eye sight test. The DMV clerk person shows him a card with the letters:

C Z W I X N O S T A C Z

"Can you read this?" the DMV examiner asks.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "I know him."

Although the my reader who sent this joke to me claimed it was rare, it is a clever take-off on the old Polish joke: What does every Polish girl get on her wedding night that’s long and hard?

A new name.



HEADLINES AND COMMENTS
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes.

Patients Can Do Their Part To Help Heal Health Care
They can drop dead before they become senior citizens with all their ailments.

Medicare premiums To Rise A Record 17% Next Year
1. Seniors don’t mind as long as the government has enough money to rebuild Iraq.
2. G. W. Bush: We will not raise taxes. It depends on what you mean by taxes.

Radiation Leak Shuts NYC Postal Facility
The P.O. spokesperson said there was no evidence of a “significant” health risk.
It depends on what you mean by “significant.”

Mom And Dad Upset By Prince Charles’ Behavior
What’s to be upset about? No matter how outrageous his behavior, he’s following in the British royal family tradition of outrageous behavior ranging from murder, to serving as an agent for an enemy nation, to alcoholism, to homosexuality, to flagrant philanderers.

Frenchman Slain In Jidda 
Did he tell them that he was good westerner whose government always supported the Arabs?

Israel Allows Doctors To Visit Arafat
Did his HMO give permission?

Nader Wins Place On Arkansas Ballot
He first had to prove that he was married to his sister.

Experts Predict Higher Fuel Prices This Winter 
What would we do without experts?



QUOTES I LIKE
Diogenes considers them clever, not that he necessarily agrees with them.

Shoe: You old dawg! I hear things are getting pretty serious with you and Marge.
Geezer: Yup…The other day I carved our initials in her cane.
- SHOE (cartoon strip)

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.
- Cora Harvey Armstrong 

Cute Chick: Have you ever been on a blind date?
Fat Broad: I went with a guy to see a faith healer once.
Cute Chick: How did it work out?
Fat Broad: Good, right up until the miracle where his sight was restored.
- B. C. (comic strip)

Geezer: Got an extra cigar?
Shoe: Don’t you know that smoking takes years off your life?
Geezer: Yup, I’m 93. So I’m shooting for 80!
- SHOE (comic strip)

The great religious figures of the planet—the Pope, the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Dalai Lama—hold a summit. To begin to help the world see the ways in which Islam is not, in fact, a threat.
- John Kerry

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.
- Henry Ford

When I’m sad, I’m happy that I can be sad.
- Wynton Marsalis



READERS’ COMMENTS

Discovered your website and have just read June 2004,Vol.1V #20 and am hooked. When I have time to read more I will certainly have comments. Suffice to say I am very impressed. Articles were informative and I thoroughly enjoyed your sense of humor.
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You know damn well that popularity only wins the Oscar. You know the constitution writers knew that being popular is not fitting for the presidency but to convince the state voters called for the electoral college count. That is why this system is the best. Keeps out the losers who weep in their tea for four years. Gore the bore would have been a lousy president as his rants show. Even Kerry will be a lousy one because he has no staying power as shown by his quitting the navy before his full service time was completed during the Viet Nam war. His vacillating decisions show that we don’t need a Hamlet for the next four years.

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Why is it our children can't read the Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Why do we swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot 
be displayed in a federal building? 

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd fall off!

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ on it, so I said, implants?; she hit me.

I got a sweater for Hanukkah. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

Every time I walk into a singles bar I hear my mother's words: 
don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.

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Just read July issue concerning A TERRIBLE LOVE OF WAR by Hillman: I was an English lit major in college and from my ‘friends’ Herman Melville, Mark Twain, and others, I realized there is no concept of WAR without the concept of PEACE; no LOVE without HATE; no GOOD without EVIL; no RIGHT without WRONG. If the study of brain waves will determine the hows and whys of choices made, good luck in their endeavors. MOBY DICK uses metaphor to discuss fate, free will, and chance. All three are interwoven in our lives and help determine the choices we make.
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So says Diogenes. What do you say?  Click here to send in your comments