THE DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
November 2004, VOL. IV, #33
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THE MOST PRESSING PROBLEM FACING AMERICA AND THE WORLD

I wouldn’t blame you for thinking that America’s and the world’s most pressing problem can be found among the following issues: the war in Iraq or the war in Afghanistan or the war against terrorism or the holocaust in the Sudan or the AIDS epidemic or the war on drugs or the war in the Congo or the war to free Chechnya or Iran’s building a nuclear capability or North Korea’s building its nuclear capability or the fact that 40 million Americans do not have health care coverage or global warming. But you would be wrong, wrong, wrong!

The most pressing problem is the dispute between Israel and the local Arabs. So says Tony Blair, and George W. Bush agrees with him! We got rid of the Clintonites who were ready to renew the so-called “peace process” and now we have to disabuse the Bush Administration of this stupid idea. I think that one of the best ways to do this is to get the Christian fundamentalist supporters of Bush to lobby against renewal of the “peace process” which is a euphemism for pressuring Israel to give up land to the Arabs. Muslims controlling the Land of Israel will not speed the second coming and therefore should be anathema to the Christians.

Letters to Christian organizations, letters to fundamentalist publications and ads in all media paid for by the same groups that ran pro-Israel/anti-Kerry ads prior to the election are some of the techniques that could be helpful in deflecting the European anti-Israel drive which could influence the Bush Administration. We certainly can come up with additional techniques to alert potential supporters of a strong Israel to our cause.

Another danger in this direction will be the death of Arafat and his replacement by an “Arab moderate” which will describe even the most virulent Jew-hater who replaces Arafat. The supporters of a strong Israel will have their work cut out for them in the face of world pressure including the likes of Sharon and the other left-wingers in Israel. 

I find I amazing that with all of the truly pressing problems facing the world, the world—from east to west, from north to south—can focus all of its fears and concerns on that miniscule drop of humanity known as The Jews. What power, what influence, what dominance the world attributes to us. Perhaps God saw these same attributes in us and that is why he chose us. Perhaps the world sees us this way because of the team effort that has developed…God and us. Maybe I should change the billing. One way or another, the Jews can’t escape from being selected, by acclaim, for the lead role in every world drama.

PLAYING “FOLLOW THE LEADER”

It’s always welcome to see that some of the ‘mainstream’ media acknowledge the viewpoints that have been voiced in The Diogenes Report. The following editorial from the November 5, 2004 issue of the CT Jewish Ledger reflects both my opinions about Dennis “The Menace” Ross and the eventual demise of Yasser Arafat.

Nov 5, 2004 - Dennis Ross' promotional book tour brought him to Connecticut twice this year, and he'll be in Springfield later this month. In his talks, Ross notes that his greatest mistake during his reign as peacemaker supreme was to underestimate the intransigence of Yasser Arafat and his ability to obstruct any meaningful movement towards peace with Israel. In other words, it was all Arafat's fault.

Ross is not alone in this conclusion. It's an easy one to reach and eliminates the need to be bothered by inconvenient facts like the nature and disposition of the Arab world towards Israel and Jews, which is amply demonstrated in a bloody history that stretches back to the early 1900s.

If it's all Arafat's fault, then, we can ignore the polls that tell us Arabs continue by large pluralities to support suicide bombings. Arab culture and the Arab polity that spreads across the Middle East are as fixated today with the destruction of Israel as they've always been. Arafat is but one leader of one faction in this huge group of people. The conflict was and remains an Arab-Israeli one.

Of late, we've seen this problem spill over to the rest of the world to rekindle behavior that has plagued the Jewish people throughout its history. In a polite society like France, synagogues are bombed and Jews are accosted in public. Arafat is no small player on that stage either, but antisemitism preceded Arafat by centuries, and he is just one in a long line of history's Jew haters.

Yasser Arafat has been able to fool most of the people most of the time. He is a demigod to the masses in the Arab world, and in Europe he is a champion of the Arab people. In the West he is regularly promoted as Israel's partner for peace.

Arafat has a Nobel Peace Prize, which makes it easy for Sen. John Kerry to say (as he did in his 1997 book, "The New War"), that Arafat had made the "transformation from outlaw to statesman." 

Just 12 years ago, Jews gushed over Yasser as he shook hands on the White House lawn and pledged to abide by the tenets of the Oslo Accord while at the same time in Arabic he was telling his own people to continue their war against Israel.

To those who are familiar with Arafat's record, he has been a criminal since the very start of his bloody career. Israel has always known, but corroborating evidence now proves, that it was Arafat who gave the order to murder U.S. Ambassador to the Sudan Cleo Noel and two other Americans being held hostage in 1973. It's also clear now that he funded the killing of Israelis at the 1972 Munich Olympics.

These were precedents to a life of murder and mayhem. Even with all of this, Arafat was the foreign leader who visited the White House most in the 90s, and as Rabbi Daniel Lappin says, if Clinton were still in office today, it is likely that Arafat would be in Bethesda for his medical care instead of Paris.

We've always made Arafat into whatever we've wanted to, and now prior to his death, there are some among us who see his passing as the key to peace. The real question though, is what pressures Israel will be forced to withstand after he dies: pressures no doubt that will be inimical to her self-interest and survival. Arafat's passing brings Israel to a very dangerous time.

Arafat dead or Arafat alive doesn't change much. Israel still has no true friends in the Arab world. Arafat's death doesn't take the missiles out of Iran's hands or the tanks off of Israel's border with Syria. It doesn't warm the Israeli peace with Egypt or stop the flow of suicide bombers into Tel Aviv. Hamas, Hizbollah and all the other assorted terrorists won't disappear. Problems will take on a different shape and form, but the nature of the Arab world's belligerence will be the same. Leadership of that world truly is at issue, but because of its very nature it won't change much.

Arab leaders are chosen through a combination of force and violence, and until that changes, there's little hope that an affinity will spring up between Israel and her 21 Arab neighbors. "Palestinian" Arabs will choose their leader in the same way they chose Arafat, and he will brutally claw his way to the top of the pile and consolidate his power in the same way Arafat did. Israel is no more secure with this kind of leadership next door than she was while Arafat was smiling at the cameras by day and overseeing Israeli death and destruction at night.

Here in the U.S., the danger is in our own State Department. They echo Dennis Ross' outlook: it wasn't our policy that was wrong, but Arafat's perfidy. Combine that with the outlook our diplomats have deep in their psyche that they can talk with anybody about anything to get a desired outcome and we're close to the European view: make Israel unilaterally offer concessions and the world's conflict with Arab-Muslims will be over.

The problem isn't Arafat and it won't be solved by his death. If Arab guile and our own gullibility continue to prevent us from recognizing the true nature of the threat to our allies, and us Israel's safety and security will be in jeopardy. 



MORE ARAB COMPASSION AND MORALITY

Re: The terror bombing in the Tel Aviv market.

Yasser Arafat "condemned" the attack - but it was later reported that this same Arafat had authorized money for Gaza terrorists from his sickbed, only days before the lethal attack in Tel Aviv. The attack was also condemned by Mr. (the NY Times’ respectful title) Far's (the teenaged suicide bomber) mother, Samira Abdullah, 45, who said: 'It's immoral to send someone so young. They should have sent an adult who understands the meaning of his deeds.'" [emphasis added]



THE AMERICAN MEDIA ISN’T WHISPERING ITS NAME

I thought the days were past when the American media would not deal with hush-hush subjects like President Kennedy using the White House as a brothel or J. Edgar Hoover’s traipsing around town in his girlie outfits. Over the years, they played it hot and cold. The media certainly cut Bill Clinton no slack—or his Republican detractors and their mistresses and illegitimate children. They didn’t out Wilbur Mills and his boozing until he outed himself in a Washington fountain, and they didn’t devote even one line to the Iran-Contra gay cabal which supposedly included Bill Casey and Oliver North. This story was making the rounds of Washington but it never got into the press. 

Perhaps if the story had been aired, we would have gotten some more intimate information as to how and why the conspiracy took the direction it did. And if the public knew more about Wilbur Mills, we would have learned how the Ways and Means Committee operates when its chairman is sober…or drunk. And if the public knew about J. Edgar Hoover’s peccadilloes, we would have had an FBI head who acknowledged that there was a mafia—the same mafia that was blackmailing J. Edgar.

Now another story with political and social implications that the press should be covering is getting the hush-hush treatment in our media. It is, however, being covered openly in the Russian media. It is the illness that is killing Yasser Arafat…AIDS. It has been known for years that Yasser is a homosexual. To cover his --- (you should pardon the expression) is the reason he got “married.” It is none of anyone’s business what he did in his own Mukata or the back rooms of the mosques he visited, but it would explain a lot about the diplomatic support he generated around the world if we knew a bit more about his relationships with various diplomats.


IT PAYS TO RAISE YOUR VOICE A LITTLE

Following an outcry and a boycott, The Body Shop, the London-based retailer of personal care products, the chain removed its posters and website information about an anti-Semitic, anti-Israel award that it gave to a pro-Palestinian group. This action won’t change the anti-Semitic feelings of The Body Shop’s management but, at least, it will give them agita and they won’t shove it in our face. It pays to raise a Jewish voice…a little. 



WHAT WOMEN REALLY THINK OF MEN

Why do men become smarter during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius.
Why don’t women blink during sex?
Because they don’t have enough time.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because they don’t stop to ask directions.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they won’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties. 
Why did God make men before women? 
Because you need a rough draft before you make a final copy. 
How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?
Don't know...it's never happened. 
Why did God put men on Earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn!



HEADLINES AND COMMENTS
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes.

Police Investigate 2 Canadian Muslims Over Comments About Jews
The police should stop picking on the Muslims. 
Their conversation went like this: Abdul: Which shule are you going to on Shabbos? 
Osama: I’m going to daven at the Rambam shule.
Abdul: I don’t like the chazzan there.
At that point the police stepped in.

This Is What The 260,000 Employees Of Tyco Did Yesterday
Imagine What They’ll Do Tomorrow (ad headline)
Steal another billion dollars?

Arafat Funds Terror—And Condemns It
He objects to paying for more explosives than is required to kill and maim all Jews in a marketplace.

Aides Say Arafat Has Taken Turn For The Worse
Are they sure it isn’t a turn for the nurse?

Report: Arafat Clinically Dead
He is ethically and morally dead so why should anyone be surprised that he is clinically dead?

Four More Years
Oy vey!

Jesus Will Save You
A man entered the lions’ enclosure at the Taipei Zoo and shouted these words. He thought he heard voices telling him to do it. The result was that the lions mauled him. He didn’t realize that Jesus was afraid of lions and the voices were telling him to bet on the Detroit Lions.

Re-election Casts Gloom Over Many Parts Of The World
Even over Diogenes’ bathtub where he is trying to figure out how to make both candidates lose in the 2008 election.

Karzai Declared Official Winner Of Afghan Presidential Election
If you’re an Afghan and you want to keep your head on your shoulders, you had better agree with this declaration!

Hungary Joins Others In Pulling Troops From Iraq
Understandable. They have to be ready in case the Gypsies want to overthrow the Budapest government.

Drug Safety Reviewer Says F.D.A. Delayed Vioxx Study
The penalty is self-evident, just inject the delayers with an overdose of Vioxx and send them to jail for five years.

Police Arrest 8 Tied To Suspect In Killing Of Dutch Filmmaker
The Dutch Government is trying to interfere with Islamic movie criticism!

Dutch Vow Tough Measures After Death Threat On Slain Filmmaker
I hope they slam the barn door real hard.

Sharon: Bury Him In Gaza
Jimmy Carter wants to attend the funeral. Maybe they can arrange a double burial—Yasser and Jimmy: sightless in Gaza and witless in Gaza.



QUOTES I LIKE
Diogenes considers them clever, not that he necessarily agrees with them.

How will we know that Arafat is really dead? 
The French doctors will strap a bomber’s vest on him and send him to Muslim heaven. If we see him cavorting with 70 black-eyed virgins, he is really dead.
     - Diogenes

The main thing we have to fear is the lack of fear itself.
     - Lawrence Summers

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
     - Albert Einstein

Bar Patron: My friend Philip, who doesn’t smoke, drink or chase women, celebrated his 49th birthday yesterday.
Shoe: How?
     - SHOE (comic strip)

Teacher: What famous American said, “I never met a man I didn’t like”? Yes Johnny…
Johnny: Mae West.
Teacher: Tell your father to knock off the help with your homework.
     - B. C. (comic strip)

Unshared joy is an unlighted candle.
     - Spanish proverb

Mankind has collected together all the wisdom of his ancestors, and can see what a fool man is.
     - Elias Canetti

All the intervener gets is torn clothes.
     - Arab proverb

Cosmo: So you were home-schooled?
Bar Patron: Yup…both my sister and I…
I can’t begin to tell you how weird the prom was!
     - SHOE (comic strip)

Asked what he thought of Western civilization: I think it would be a good idea.
     - Mohandas Gandhi

Give me your tired, your poor…as soon as they fill out forms 2478A through Z in triplicate.
     - Anonymous

The purpose of psychology is to give us a completely different idea of the things we know best.
     - Paul Valery

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of trying to make me happy.
     - J. D. Salinger

Woman was God’s second mistake.
     - Nietzsche

The world is so constructed, that if you wish to enjoy its pleasures, you must also endure its pains.
     - Brahmananda

There must be more to life than having everything.
     -Maurice Sendak



READERS’ COMMENTS

It saddens me to think you will crank the Lever for Bush! I don't have the ability to argue but I don't know what this man has done for Israel and I think we will all rue the day if he gets re-elected. He is not a friend of Israel and will not lift a finger to stop bloodshed. You have cast your choice and I can't abide by the foolishness of your choice.
- - - - -
Thank goodness Diogenes has a sense of humor. After reading how the Arabs want us all dead, I was so depressed I wanted to shoot myself!
Diogenes’ comment: Thank goodness you have a sense of humor.



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