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THE DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
May 2007, VOL. VII, #6
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(Items marked with an * were written by Diogenes.)
A THUNDEROUS SILENCE*
There have been demonstrations around the world crying for action against the Muslim murderers in Darfur. But in the USA, the loudmouths who raised their voices against Imus—the Reverend “Tawana” Sharpton and the Reverend “Hymietown” Jackson, as well as other black leaders in and out of Congress have been eerily silent—today, yesterday and since the genocide started. They may have made a comment, but I haven’t heard it. And since they are so adept at whipping up the media, I’m certain that if they did it would have come to my attention.
Why the thunderous silence from these very verbose individuals? Perhaps they are hedging their bets. Today a reverend, tomorrow a mullah, or even an Imam. They are all men of the cloth, aren’t they? The Muslims already have converted most of their brothers in prison, and isn’t that where many of their constituents are? Perhaps they want to latch on to the Saudi money trickling down to the black community.
In any case, their thunderous silence once again demonstrates their high moral and ethical standards. Although, it makes me wonder why they want to keep “African” in their self-designation as racial/ethnic/cultural African-Americans.
STUPIDITY THAT IS THOROUGHLY FRIGHTENING*
We all know that the Israeli leadership is stupid and detached from reality, but the following findings from the Winograd Report on what went wrong before and during the 2nd Lebanon War is incredible and truly frightening to those of us that want Israel to survive and prosper. Just read the sentence in boldface if you think that I am exaggerating. This thinking harks back to the “concept” that left Israel ill-prepared for the Yom Kippur War, caused thousands of unnecessary casualties and almost brought defeat to the nation. Israel needs voters and leaders who can clean out its Augean Stable—immediately.
“... The IDF was not ready for this war. Among the many reasons for this we can mention a few:
Some of the political and military elites in Israel have reached the conclusion that Israel is beyond the era of wars. It had enough military might and superiority to deter others from declaring war against her; these would also be sufficient to send a painful reminder to anyone who seemed to be undeterred; since Israel did not intend to initiate a war, the conclusion was that the main challenge facing the land forces would be low intensity asymmetrical conflicts. Given these assumptions, the IDF did not need to be prepared for ‘real’ war.”
CHECK OUT THESE "EXPERTS"
THEY WERE AS GOOD AT PREDICTING AS THE PUNDITS ON TV
"Man will never reach the moon, regardless of all future scientific advances."
-- Dr. Lee DeForest, Father of Radio &Grandfather of Television.
"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
-- Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project Manhattan
"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom."
-- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers "
-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
-- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
"But what is it good for?" commenting on the microchip.
-- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us,"
--Western Union internal memo, 1876
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
in response to urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
-- David Sarnoff' Associates
"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible,"
-- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. Smith went on to found
Federal Express.
"I'm just glad it will be Clark Gable who falls on his face, not Gary Cooper,"
-- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in Gone With The Wind.
"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make,"
-- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
-- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible,"
-- Lord Kelvin, president Royal Society, 1895
"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this."
-- Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.
"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil?
You're crazy,"
-- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil, 1859
"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
-- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value,"
-- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre, France
"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
-- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899
"The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required."
-- Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University
"I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself. -- the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox
"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."
-- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon."
-- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
-- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
CALIFORNIA HISTORY LESSON
Here is what happened this week back in 1850, in California?
California became a state.
The State had no electricity.
The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.
Basically, it was just like California today, except the women had real tits and the men didn't hold hands
WITH AGE COMES WISDOM
A guy is 81 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me? "The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll then give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of."
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket. Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will l give you sexual pleasures like you have never had."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
NAMES
Names that fit and names that don’t.
This name fits beautifully (just ignore the spelling)
The Vice President of Iran’s Nuclear Program is Gholam Reza Aghazadeh
HEADLINES AND COMMENTS*
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes
Winograd Findings Lead To Calls For Olmert To Resign
It’s a winograd, winograd situation—at least for the short run.
War Report Could Decide Israeli Premier’s Fate
It’s not the War report it’s the War.
Laws Limit Options When a Student Is Mentally Ill
The VA Tech administrators claim that they could not expel a dangerous madman, but they would have booted him out in an instant if he stopped paying tuition. We need a policy of leaving a lot of so-called educators behind.
Former Qwest CEO Guilty On 19 Insider Trade Counts
As a shareholder, I hope that the judge makes him an “insider” for a long, long time
Gonzales Gets Grilling, Vows To Stay
1. If he wants to stay, I think he got off on the wrong foot by referring to the Senators on the Judicial Committee as a bunch of Gringos.
2. He seems to have a worse memory than Ronald Reagan.
3. He shouldn’t have taken that cell phone call from Pancho Villa in the middle of the hearings. But Pancho did pledge his support.
4. I hope President Bush was more discriminating in naming General Petraeus to lead the surge than in picking Gonzalez to be Attorney General.
5. Alberto definitely is no Archibald.
6. Maybe when he resigns as A-G, he will handle the appeal for Duke Cunningham.
7. He made Mexicans look so bad maybe the Minutemen will hire him.
8. If all else fails, he can become a gardener for George W. George owes him.
9. Grilling? Grilling? That’s OK with Albert, he loves grilled enchiladas.
Group Launches Ad Against McCain's Joke
Unless he improves his stand-up, he probably will bomb in Teheran.
Pope Revises 'Limbo' For Babies
The inventor of the limbo—you remember the “accidental” inventor who invented the limbo when he was trying to sneak into a pay toilet—was the one who actually interceded with the Pope. But the Pope misunderstood him, he wanted the rules changed for babes.
Bush: Sectarian Killings Drop In Baghdad
It’s good to hear that they’re not killing as many sectarians. As long as they’re only killing Sunnis and Shias and a few Kurds, it means there is real progress in Iraq.
U.S. Defense Secretary Meets In Israel On Arms Sales To Arabs
The problem: the U.S wants to sell the weapons and Israel wants to give them the arms without charge.
French Rabbi Punched In Anti-Semitic Attack
A typical Frenchman, unafraid to hit a Jew, but too cowardly to stand up to a German or a Muslim.
Barak, Peretz Trade Punches As Labor Campaign Heats Up
But neither was willing to deliver a real punch to the Arabs.
No Closets In This NYU Frat House
An appropriately-named governing body—The Inter-Greek Council-- approved (or backed into?) the school’s new fraternity for gay and bisexual men.
Olmert Backs Arms For PA Hamas-Fatah Militia Merger
Olmert should not be fired for incompetence, he should be tried as a serial murderer or, at least, incarcerated as a dangerous mental defective.
Japan Court Rules Against Sex Slaves:
Japan’s highest court denied compensation to wartime sex slaves and forced laborers from China but acknowledged the coercion.
We turned Japan into ashes, wrote their constitution and have been “democratizing” them for over 60 years and still can’t change their culture. How long will it take us in Iraq?
Iran To Attend Regional Talks On Iraq Violence
The arsonist comes to watch the fire he set.
QUOTES I LIKE
Diogenes considers them clever and/or informative.
Not that he necessarily agrees with them. Not even with his own.
Not believing in force is the same thing as not believing in gravitation.
- Leon Trotsky
Buying is much more American than thinking. And I’m as American as they come.
- Andy Warhol
Andy Warhol: A genius with the IQ of a moron.
- Gore Vidal
You can’t have peace longer than your neighbor pleases.
- Dutch proverb
The soldier’s blood, the general’s name.
- Jamaican proverb
Nowadays the illiterates can read and write.
- Alberto Moravia
The egg cream is psychologically the opposite of circumcision—it pleasurably reaffirms your Jewishness.
- Mel Brooks
Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
- Ambrose Bierce
Few great men could pass Personnel.
- Paul Goodman
When smashing monuments, save the pedestals—they always come in handy.
- Stanislaw Lem (good advice for Iraq)
If one proves the equality of two numbers a and b by showing first that "a is less than or equal to b" and then "a is greater than or equal to b", it is unfair, one should instead show that they are really equal by disclosing the inner ground for their equality.
- Emmy Noether (one of the great Jewish mathematicians)
One Mullah speaking to another mullah: My authority was never questioned before it was revealed that my middle name is Hillary.
- New Yorker cartoon
READERS’ COMMENTS
Re: the recent killings in VA. That psycho had 32 deaths on his head; Bush has thousands. At least one of them had the decency to kill himself as well. (Too bad he didn't start there.)
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