THE DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
June 2007, VOL. VII, #10
(Items marked with an * were written by Diogenes.)
Everyone seems to have a comment on this month’s 40th anniversary of the Six Day War. Naturally, I have one too. My comment is that I’m glad that Israelis have been able to lean out of the train that goes between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem for the past 40 years. Before the war, the right of way that the train took was so narrow that some comedian put up a sign that warned passengers: Don’t lean out of the State.”
Unfortunately, many of the commentators prefer to rewrite history instead of being awed by the miracle of that victory. How can anyone forget the excruciating weeks that led up to June 6, 1967? Nasser demanded that the UN remove its buffer force between his 100,000-man army on the border between Israel and Sinai. The UN quickly obliged. Russia had been pouring in billions of dollars of the most advanced armaments to Egypt and Syria. Britain was supplying weapons to Jordan. Throughout the period, there were threatening pronouncements from Nasser and Syria’s Assad.
The flotilla that never came
Then Egypt threw up a blockade around Eilat, Israel’s port on the Red Sea and its route to Asia and East Africa. This move was an automatic reason for war, but Israel held off as President Johnson declared that America would lead an international flotilla to open the port. The flotilla never materialized, but Johnson eventually sent a spy ship to Israel’s Mediterranean coast to monitor Israel’s communications after the war started.
As the days unfolded, the Israelis and Jews around the world were seized with fear as to the outcome. As we have learned recently, the Israeli leaders dithered about their course of actions, but eventually they did what had to be done to the surprise and awe of the world.
I’m certain that my reaction on hearing the news that the IAF had destroyed the Egyptian, Syrian and Iraqi air forces was similar to that of most people. Disbelief! I tended to believe the Egyptian announcements that they had destroyed the Israeli Air force. A very common Jewish reaction to the news.
Arab air forces destroyed by a lightning strike
By the following day there was no doubt about who was right. The Israeli Jewish-designed planes had delivered a crushing blow to the Arab Jewish-designed planes.
Jordan, initially, remained on the sidelines waiting to see who would get the upper hand.
Israel warned King Hussein not to get involved but Nasser convinced to attack Israel. The combination of the usual Arab lies from Nasser and Hussein’s Arab greed—believing he would share in the spoils—won out. After heavy fighting Israel reconquered Jerusalem, Judea. Samaria—historical Jewish areas that Jordan had taken by military force in 1947-48. The Golan, also historical Jewish land, was conquered from Syria, and the Sinai and Gaza were conquered from Egypt. The United States and the European nation, particularly Russia the main supplier to the Arabs of the weaponry that triggered the war jumped all over Israel to prevent it from fully destroying the military capabilities of Egypt and Syria.
A junkyard of Egyptian tanks
The Sinai was littered with destroyed and abandoned Egyptian tanks, halftracks, artillery and the bodies of thousands of soldiers. Even more thousands were taken prisoner. The picture was similar on the Golan from which the Syrians had rained shells on Israeli kibbutzim for almost 20 years. The IDF could easily have marched into Cairo and Damascus if they had wanted but world pressure, as well as their own plans, halted their advance.
Israel was widely condemned for its “pre-emptive” attack. But, it was not a “pre-emptive” strike. Egypt had already declared war with its blockade of Eilat and Syria declared war with its constant shelling in the north. Israel merely selected the time that it wanted to respond to the declarations of war by those two Arab nations.
Let’s take a look at what the Israeli “revisionist” historians are lying about on this 40th anniversary. One must understand that the term “revisionist” is a euphemism for liar. And many of these revisionists are not ashamed to be caught in lies. Their claim is that it is proper to lie in order to make their points. This is especially true when it comes to defaming Israel. When considering the honesty and objectivity of the Israeli “revisionist” historians, you can put them in the same class as the holocaust denier historians and the Soviet Marxist historians.
These experts claim that Nasser and Assad didn’t really want a war despite their military buildups and threats to drive the Jews into the sea. An honest look at the situation shows that they put their countries into hock for billions of dollars of Russian military equipment. Was it to prove that they were peace lovers? They invited in thousands of Russian military trainers. Was this because they wanted peace? And by the way they listened to the Russian diplomats who told them that Israel was ready to attack them and that Russia’s client states, Egypt and Syria, were ready to destroy Israel. The Arabs were primed for the war they were sure they were going to win.
As we have found out recently, with the declassification of Israeli government documents, many of the Israeli military and political put off action out of the fear and indecision that we have seen over and over in the ensuing years. But stronger minds and emotions prevailed and the IAF carried out magnificently planned attacks that destroyed the Egyptian and Syrian air forces in a matter of a few hours. Armored, infantry and naval attacks quickly followed. Not all of these actions were cakewalks. There were a number of hard-fought engagements like the battle for the Golan Heights.
In six days victory was won and the fighting came to end, in part due to pressure from Russia, the U.S. and Britain.
The real crime
The revisionist historians are wailing that Israel committed a terrible crime by winning the war and re-conquering Jewish land on which so many Arabs were living (my words.)
I believe that Israel’s crime was different—from the day Israel won the war they started the process of giving up their land. The resident of Hebron and Jerusalem could have and should have been moved to Jordan. They expected for that to happen for the crimes they committed against Jews. And Jordan was in no position to prevent their entry. Israeli’s warped humanitarianism, which is costing Israel’s citizens every day, is Israel’s real crime.
Israel’s dramatic victory would have paralyzed any complaining voices from Europe and the Arab world. Wars everywhere else in the world—in India, Russia and Germany, for example—resulted in much greater population shifts without a peep.
Doing a series of wrong and stupid things over the years has followed the negative of not doing the right thing. Turning over parts of Judea and Samaria and all of Gaza to the Arabs is a sign of the emotional sickness of Israel’s leaders and large numbers of its citizens. Returning all of the Sinai including Sharm el Sheikh to Egypt was another sign of weakness. And now the talk is of giving up part of Jerusalem and more of Judea and Samaria and, perhaps, even the Golan.
On the positive side Israel won the war in six days to win the war but at least it’s taking over 40 years to lose it
PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF ISLAM #4
The voices of Arab “moderates.”
Allah willing, America and Israel will be annihilated…count them and kill them to the last one and don’t leave even one.
- Ahmed Bahr (Acting Speaker of the Palestinian Authority)
Our rifles, all our rifles are aimed at the Israeli occupation… It is forbidden to use these guns against Palestinians.
- Mahmoud Abbas (Palestinian Authority President)
Our final position is the liberation of Palestine, all of Palestine. This is the final and strategic solution for us.
- Mahmoud A-Zahar (former PA foreign minister)
MUSLIM TERRORISTS BEWARE!
Homeland Security, the CIA And The FBI Can Learn From Concerned Americans.
Please alert all your neighbors—I already have alerted mine—to vacate their blocks next weekend so that no premature heart attacks occur.
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and he must commit suicide if he does. So next Sunday at 4 PM, Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, and to demonstrate they think it’s okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.
Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless America.
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
“If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds”
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
“How long will this take?” I asked.
“They will grow larger over a period of years,” my husband replies.
I stopped. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?”
Without missing a beat he says “Worked f or your butt, didn’t it?”
He’s still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says “Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no they ain’t. The oldest one’s 9 and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”
“I’m neither blind nor stupid”, replied the greeter. “I just couldn’t believe you got laid twice. Have a good day.”
FIVE TIPS FOR A WOMAN
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count who doesn’t lie to you.
4.. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don’t know each other
DEFINITIONS NOT IN THE DICTIONARY
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
A place where women curl up and dye.
Someone who is fed up with people.
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
An insect that makes you like flies better.
Something you tell to one person at a time.
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
The pain that drives you to extraction.
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
An honest opinion openly expressed.
Something other people have. I have character lines.
HEADLINES AND COMMENTS*
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes
Israel Won’t Intervene as PA Civil War Claims More Lives
Olmert says it’s a war between the “pragmatists and extremists.” His position on their differences is somewhere in between.
Avraham Burg’s New Zionism
How to really zing your dear departed dad who was a leader of the old Zionism. The old man must have stroked little Avi with a lokshen strap when he caught him smoking on Shabbos.
Sudan Supports America’s War On Terror
Forget about the Administration doing anything to stop genocide in Darfur.
North Korea To Allow Nuclear Inspectors
Indians Speak Forcibly On Climate
Have they stopped sending smoke signals or is it mere umgawah?
Armed Man Takes Prescription Drugs From Pharmacy
The usual scenario is that an armed pharmacist takes large sum of money from a customer for a prescription.
FM Livni: Israel May Release Funds to PA ‘Moderates’
Wow, another hit for Israeli science. Livni, the molecular biologist can tell apart an Arab moderate from an Arab extremist.
Jerusalem Police Stand Firm On Gay Parade For Thursday
Instead of standing firm, maybe they should bend over a little.
Bloomberg Quits GOP, Stirs Buzz
I ain’t no Republican, I is just a little old independent billionaire.
Hamas Anticipates Inheriting Fatah Arms In Judea And Samaria
Hamas may be vicious but they are not stupid.
Diogenes considers them clever, stupid and/or informative,
not that he necessarily agrees with them.
If you can’t annoy somebody, there is little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
What concerns me at this time is that Jewish self-hatred is rising. The Jews seem to sense that a disaster is approaching them. And now they want to send a signal to the others that they are the good Jews. There have never been so many good Jews, from Noam Chomsky, who recently allowed himself to be interviewed in a Hamas television program in Lebanon, to Norman Finkelstein and Tony Judt. They want to make it clear to the opposite side: Spare us. That did not occur 20 years ago, and I consider that to really be a sign of alarm.
- Henryk Broder (Jewish-German journalist)
Good news for diabetics especially if they like to have a group of people watch while they test their blood. A manufacturer of blood monitors has announced that their monitors now come in three crowd-pleasing colors. Another great medical breakthrough.
In America it’s the war between the bottom-liners and the patriots, and the bottom-liners are winning.
The most important political office is that of citizen.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Truth is what your contemporaries let you get away with saying.
America is seeing a religious resurgence: half the men in prison for felonies are named Jesus, the other half are name Muhammad, and the sexual rehab centers are crowded with Catholic
Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that’s where you get shitty ideas from.
Its willingness to export poisonous food and pharmaceuticals is a chink in China’s armor.
I could move to Jerusalem and live with all the Americans, or I could move to south Florida and live with all the Israelis.
- David Kilimnick (Rochester, NY rabbi who made aliyah to Israel)
Re: Vol. VII, #9: They Need Another French Revolution
This time you went beyond any rationality. Are you mad? We Jews are supposed to be people of the Torah (law). You recommend becoming a lynch mob. We would be no better than Hamas and Fatah, perhaps worse, because we are an ancient people that sets an example for humanity.
If the leaders of Israel are criminals then so is the electorate that keeps on voting them in. But better to be mendacious than to be bloodthirsty hooligans. You suggest emulating those beasts in Gaza.
Shame on you!
You surprise me. A few days ago, you sent me an e-mail with a “Wake Up Call” message. The danger you were signaling was JIHAD! Apparently your right brain and left brain are out of sync. I agree that JIHAD is a danger to the entire western world including Judaism and Christianity, the United States and Israel. I believe that we must do everything (I mean everything) in our power to destroy the JIHADISTS, and their supporters. In this group, I include—much to your consternation—those individuals, may they be government officials or other so-called leaders that try to prevent a successful war against the JIHADISTS.
You sent me a warning—A Wake Up Call while, at the same time, you are trying to invoke the mantra of being more “civilized” than our enemies. The name of the game is not “rationality” or the Geneva Convention, it is survival. And the game is being lost on a daily basis on a critical front line of the war—the Land of Israel. And, in Israel, the war is being lost a day at a time.
Even among its friends, Israel is not counted as being a victim of JIHAD or a major fighter against JIHADISM. In the Wake Up Call video, among the dozens examples of JIHADI attacks around the world, not one attack in Israel is shown. While attacks against Jewish facilities and Israeli airliners in various countries are shown Israel itself is off the map. Daily attacks on Israel by Hamas or Hizbollah or the PA Martyr’s Brigade are so humdrum that they detract from whipping up sentiment against the war on JIHADISM. That’s what our “friends” as well as, many Jews. That’s what the leaders of Israel think.
That’s not what I think. And I am sick and tired of being told that Jews must be an example to the world. By now, being an ancient people, we should know that the world doesn’t want an example, it resents an example. The only lessons the world learns come from being hit with a 2x4 right between the eyes. And even those lessons only have a short-term impact. Also, instead of being lauded as “an ancient people,” I would rather have us known as the people with a long, active future.
As far as I’m concerned the leaders of Israel are no better than the Kapos in the death camps, and they should be treated the same way that most of the kapos were treated when the prisoners were freed.
Let me reiterate: They need a French Revolution in Israel both to get rid of the leaders and change the form of government.
Re: VOL. VII, #9
If this issue is not your best, it certainly is way up there. It’s strong but it’s telling it like it is. You’ll never make the Op-Ed page in The Times or the Advocate with views like these. I’ll bet that if The Stamford Times ever printed some of this, their circulation would zoom “to the moon”. You definitely would be noticed.
Visit my new blog, DIOGENES # XXI at http://diogenesxxi.blogspot.com/
So says Diogenes. What do you say?
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