THE DIOGENES REPORT
The Wit, Wisdom & Wituperation of Emanuel L. Strunin
“a few steps ahead of the curve”
July 2007, VOL. VII, #11
(Items marked with an * were written by Diogenes.)
THEY SHAVED THE BEARD*
The Senate shaved George W. Bush’s beard, but it wasn’t only his beard that was shaved. The same style of beards adorned the faces of some other Republicans and a great many Democrats in Congress. The beard was the bill to provide a haven for the millions of illegal immigrants that have flooded into America. It was rightly known as the “amnesty bill.” The bill was a “beard” to cover the indisputable fact that, once again, nothing would be done to stop the flood of illegal immigration, while giving the appearance to the American people that something was being done.
But it’s too early to gloat over the victory, because all of the bill’s supporters, or their replacements, will grow similar beards in the years ahead. They will continue support illegal immigration because their supporters—the business community from ranchers to restaurateurs and all across the business board—support unlimited immigration. They don’t care if legal or illegal as long as it keeps wages low. They don’t care if it enables hundreds or thousands of terrorists to join the immigrants, undetected. On this issue business people are not wearing their patriotic hats, they’re wearing their bottom line hats.
To some legislators, support for illegal immigration is based on illusory humanism. They have never met third world people who they didn’t want even as minimum-wage American citizens—be they a drug dealer, a gang member, a wife beater, a child abuser or a carrier of communicable disease.
We may have to wait until the next toothless illegal immigration beard, I mean bill, grows back. But it will grow back.
By the way, a new report indicates that Mexico has more billionaires than Switzerland but they’re not sneaking across the border, nor are they helping improve the lives of their fellow countrymen.
THE BUBERIANS ARE OUTSIDE, AS WELL AS INSIDE OF THE GATE*
A minor brou-ha-ha has developed over a former Israeli (unfortunately, he’s still a Jew) who is reviving long-discredited ideas to sell a book. The individual is Avraham Burg, an ex-speaker of the Knesset and former Jewish Agency And World Zionist Organization chairman. (No question but that the Jews are over-organized.) Burg has been interviewed by just about every Jewish newspaper. His arguments are no different than those of the shitty little revisionist “historians,” but he is “news” because he is a well-known national and even international figure.
“Avrum” has moved to France and become a French citizen. Now that he has sucked all the money and honors that he could get from Israel he slithered off to greener pastures. After a long period of attacks on Israel, he now says that he is opposed to Israel as a Jewish state. He sees himself as no longer being a Zionist. Others see him as an obsessive anti-Zionist. Israel, he says, reminds him of “incipient National Socialism in Germany.” He advocates ending the Law of Return and recommends that Israelis obtain foreign passports, as he has.
His idea of Israel (probably with a name change) should be only a “spiritual” Jewish center, not a Jewish political state is an old discredited Buber-meiseh. Martin Buber, who spawned a couple of generations of thoughtless “Buberians” through Israel’s universities, had the same idea. Ahad Ha-Am had a similar idea some 70 years earlier. Think of how spiritual the Jewish spiritual center would be if Yassir Arafat or Mr. Hamas or Mr. Fatah controlled this Arab political center. Just think about it. Ahad-Ha-Am and Buber were misguided, but Burg, it seems to me looks forward eagerly to the destruction of the Jewish people.
There is some good news, however, coming out of this controversy. A number of leading Israeli left-wingers, including Shulamit Aloni have vigorously challenged Burg’s views. He is left with know-nothing “historians,” other assorted self-hating Jews and a bunch of Jew-hating goyim who are rubbing their hands in glee at “Avrum’s” fulminations.
Unlike some of his other critics, I don’t look at his position as one based on intellectual analysis. I give it a psychological interpretation, relating his current stance to his relations with his father, Yosef Burg, who was the leader of the National Religious Party and a member of the nationalist camp.
To repeat my previous comment on this newly minted French citizen: “How to really zing your dear departed dad who was a leader of the old Zionism. The old man must have stroked little Avrum with a lokshen strap when he caught him smoking on Shabbos.” That’s all folks.
HEADLINES AND COMMENTS*
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes
Chinese Tires Are Ordered Recalled
Gee, they worked OK on rickshaws.
Pakistani Security Forces Capture Cleric Dressed In A Burka
Just another Muslim cross-dresser.
Gore’s Son Facing Charges After Freeway Arrest
He may have been going 100 miles an hour, he may have had a car full of drugs, but his pa is mighty proud of him. He was driving a Prius!
Soldiers in Trouble For Bathing
Near as I can make out some Israeli soldiers changed into their bathing suits to take a dip in a pool while some Arab women where nearby, and the Arabs complained that their high moral standards were violated. I think that the Arab women wanted to blow up the soldiers and the soldiers merely wanted a blow job.
Files On Illegal Spying Show C.I.A. Skeletons From Cold War
Don’t you know that for the C.I.A., the cold war never ended?
Psychiatrists Top List In Drugmaker Gifts
You’ll have to lie down on the coach before you hand me my gifts, so I can write it off as a medical expense.
PM Olmert Plans To Release 250 Fatah Terrorists From Jail
1. Will he also release 250 Israelis from hospitals and rehab centers where they are due terrorist attacks?
2. Can this idiot provide a list of the acts of goodwill by previous terrorists freed as goodwill gestures?
Killings Surge In Oakland, And Officials Are Unable To Explain Why
Maybe the aim of our young people is improving.
Gov't Considering Handing IDF Soldiers' Killers To Jordan
Please beg the last freed terrorist to turn off the lights in Israel.
New Senators Resist Overhaul Of Immigration
They want to become old senators.
Defeat Worries Employers Who Rely On Immigrants
Also those who want to rely on immigrants.
Leakage In Big Dig Tunnel Rises
Can’t they just shove some the pills into the cracks that they use to keep you from urinating three or four times at night? That’s the least they can do for a $14 billion tunnel with an enlarged prostate.
Companies In U.S. Increase Testing Of Chinese Goods
Unfortunately, they are testing only from Column A, so a lot of garbage from Column B is still getting into the country.
Laurence Mancuso Dies: Founding Abbot Was 72
He headed a monastery that is renowned for breeding German Shepherds. Was he trying to wean priests off altar boys and sheep?
British Police Conduct Raids Across UK
The first place to look for the Muslim terrorists is in the universities. The professors are so favorable to Arabs that they are probably hiding them.
China Vows Food Safety Changes
Biggest change: they’re changing Column A and Column B, to Column C and Column D.
11 Life Sentences for Tel Aviv Bombing Facilitator
Eleven life sentences for killing 11 Jews. Wow! I guess that means he won’t be released as a good will gesture to the Arabs for about three years.
Bush Spares Libby 30-Month Jail Term
1. No worse than Clinton pardoning Marc Rich.
2. The Democrats are screaming. They were quiet when Sandy Berger wasn’t indicted for stealing government documents.
3. The Dems didn’t complain when Clinton pardoned his Arkansas cronies.
Gunter Grass’ Skeletons
Ach. Another of Hitler’s Willing Executioners/Nuchshleppers surfaces.
Diogenes considers them clever, stupid and/or informative,
not that he necessarily agrees with them.
The Torah reading for last Shabbat (6/30) contained a story about a talking donkey that thought it had a message from God. Modernists tend to pooh pooh bible stories but consider how prophetic this story is. We have a talking donkey in the White House who thinks he has received messages from God.
Now that England has been subjected to another series of attempted suicide bombings, how long will it take for the British academic unions to boycott Muslim universities and “scholars?”
Jews are definitely different. When a non-Jewish government has internal problems, it whips up sentiment for foreign adventures (wars). When a Jewish government has internal problem its main approach is a discussion on how much more of its land to give up.
I just saw TV interviews (7/1) with two of America’s so-called sages whose sage power never worked when they were in power. Zbigniew Brzezinki confirmed that once a Polish Jew-hater, always a Polish Jew-hater. He had one saving grace; he keeps the fire of Polish antipathy to Russia brightly lit. He seems to be more favorably inclined to the leaders of the Muslim neighbors of Iraq than to comrade Putin. Apart from that, everything is Israel’s fault.
The second “sage,” Heinz Kissinger who would have become a member of the Hitler Youth if he could have hidden the fact that his parents were Jews. Heinz always liked to be close to the seat of power, even if the seat of power was a commode. His answer to the Iraq problem was that we must come up with a political solution before it turns into another…(pregnant pause)…pre-World War I Balkans. See it helps to know a little history to get you off the hook—even if you haven’t learned from history. I thought he might say, “before you have to invade Cambodia. But, then again, Diogenes—even the original Greek-- always had a sense of humor.
An Israeli who was asked who would he vote for answered: “I don’t know. It seems to be a question of choosing the evil of two lessers.”
The judge says, “Mrs. Goldfarb, you’re back in court. What did you steal this time?”
“I stole a can of peaches, your honor.”
“I know you can afford a can of peaches. This is the 19th time you’ve been brought before me. I will have to sentence you to jail. How many peaches were in the can?”
“Four peaches, your honor.”
“I am sentencing you to four days in jail, one day for each peach.”
Mr. Goldfarb jumps up and announces, “your honor, she also stole a can of peas!”
We invaded Iraq to tell the government how to run their country. We should also tell the Mexican government how to run their country so that its citizens don’t run away by the millions.
All of the following are anonymous. If you read them you’ll see why.
He said . . .. I don't k now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said: You wear pants don't you?
He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.
He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows me everywhere" Written just below it . " I do not"
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer .
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q.. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A.. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says , "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
Re: Vol. VII, #10
I like the way you set up the lead piece followed by the revisionist take on the 40th anniversary. Points were well said(will they be well taken?)
I love it. Keep writing. I pass it along to others, too.
Visit my new blog, DIOGENES # XXI at http://diogenesxxi.blogspot.com/
So says Diogenes. What do you say?
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